6 Month Reality Check: Things to Remember!

Can we just talk about how crazy it is that I am 6 months pregnant? I mean, where the heck did the past 6 months go? They just flew by. It doesn't even feel that long ago that Justin and I started even considering having a baby, and now here we are, 6 months later and all systems are go! I have really loved every minute of this journey so far – it hasn't all be perfect, but it’s been a blessing.

As I step into the final 3 months of this pregnancy I want to remind myself of a few key things; things that I think I will need to hear when I am 8.5-9 months pregnant, super huge and super exhausted. So here we go!

Dear Future Alannah, please remember:

1) Take it one day at a time – with everything!

A recent occurrence (colostrum… since week 18) has made it clear that I will likely have the option to breast feed if I choose to. As long as I am comfortable and pain-free doing so, I’m going to give it a go. This has changed since early pregnancy because I literally thought that I’d have no option but to not breast feed (mainly due to pain), but it’s amazing what pregnancy does to a woman’s body (primarily her breasts!). Without going into too much detail, it seems that my breasts have become far less sensitive then they once were. Also, the development of colostrum proves that I will be able to produce milk; the question will just be, “how much will I be able to produce”? Regardless of how much (could be a little, could be a freezer full), I want to remind myself to take it ONE day at a time. One step at a time. I hear it’s going to hurt regardless the first few weeks, so I just need to remind myself that an adjustment period is needed. And if for some reason it doesn’t work out, well – you all know how I roll – no sweat. Formula it is – and I’ll be happy and fulfilled all the way.

Side note: no one KNOWS for sure if they can or cannot nurse. So, if you are fully banking on it, you should really give your head a shake and have a plan B, just in case! 

But breast feeding isn't the only area where I wish to remind myself to take it one day a time. There are tones of times where I’ll need to remember this: like during the night when he is waking up like clockwork, or when I am in recovery and I am in pain. The list is probably endless, but it’ll all work out. It’ll all work out.  

2) Children are a blessing!

This is obvious, but I assume I’ll need to remind myself of this the closer and closer I get to my due date. I assume things get progressively harder as the end nears. So, remember, future Alannah, children are a blessing – and Roman is worth all the pain and discomfort you are going through right now. So just keep pushing through – the pay off will be well worth it!

3) Treat yourself and don’t push yourself too hard

Anyone that knows me knows that I am a pusher. I push myself to workout, eat healthy, keep active, work hard, est. I am very disciplined. But I think closer to the end of my pregnancy I’ll need to remind myself that it’s okay to slow down! Maybe I’ll want to skip a workout because I’m exhausted, or maybe I’ll want that chocolate bar that I have been denying myself for months on end! Nothing over indulgent or life changing, but you know, a few little treats can’t hurt, right?

Bottom line: I want to continue to be good to my body and keep it healthy, but I also want my body to be comfortable and treated to some extra “luxuries” during the hardest phase of my pregnancy. I think I’ll deserve it at that point.

4) Don’t sweat the small stuff

If the curtains I buy for the nursery don’t exactly match the crib bedding, I need to just chill out and accept it. I know most people wouldn’t care to begin with, but most people aren’t me and I have a tendency to pursue perfection to the point of exhaustion (sinful, I know… working on it!). I need to just take a breath and forget about it… Roman and everyone else won’t sweat the small stuff, so I shouldn’t either! I should just be happy I have a roof over my head and a healthy baby on the way.

5) I can trust God, my body, my husband and my health care team

This one is number one (even though in sequence it's listed as number five!)

Even in the midst of pain, God is in control. He has created my body to bear children and I don’t need to fear. I will just ride each wave of pain or discomfort knowing that Jesus will eventually calm the storm.

I can also trust Justin to be there for me. He is committed to playing an active role in the birth of Roman and, while other men may not be as prepared, I need to trust that he is. That’s why we are taking a 12-week Bradley birthing class! So that I can trust Justin to keep me calm, comfortable and relaxed all throughout the birth. My doula (also my birth class instructor) made it very clear when I hired her that she would be an assistant to Justin. While other husband not trained in the Bradley method may let the doula take charge, Justin will be well prepared to be the head coach.

Finally, I need to trust my health care team. They know what they are doing – they do this for a living! So, while it may be hard, I need to put the health of myself and Roman in their hands, knowing that God has brought them into my life for a reason.

6) There is nothing wrong with being organized – it’s a good thing and I don’t need to feel guilty!

Type A personalities around the world can vouch for the fact that being organized is a way of life. I am almost 25 weeks pregnant and I already have my crib, dresser, rocker, stroller and crib bedding for Roman. Some people roll their eyes at this, though I am not really sure why. But they have – to my face! Not sure why organization is suddenly considered a bad thing when it comes to preparing for baby? You’d think this is when it’d be most valuable!

The bottom line is: Justin and I hate debt, and we don’t want any part of it – so we buy things as we have the cash for them… or we are gifted things when our parents have the cash for it. In my mind, this is just good financial practice. We will get a lot of the smaller necessities at our baby showers (so thankful for that!), but the bigger ticket items I feel I (or a very generous third party, like a parent) am responsible for obtaining.

And in any case, why would anyone want to wait until week 36 to get their life together? By then you are huge, exhausted and possibly out of money (maybe you've spent it unwisely or on an emergency situation that was unforeseen). Not to mention no one is guaranteed 36 weeks of pregnancy… God forbid your baby is born premature and you have neither the funds nor organization to accommodate him or her. Better safe than sorry, I say.

What am I getting at here? I am getting at the fact that, as I get more and more pregnant the nesting\organizing gene will only intensify in me, and I need to embrace it! I am going to be well prepared for Roman and that is a blessing. It’s one less things to stress about and if I receive some eyes rolls because of it, well, whatever!



Well, there you have it... a list of things to remember. My reality check for when things get crazy. I am sure there will be more I’ll want to add to this list as time goes by, but this is a good start. Just gotta keep pressing on, and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God is in control. 

Okay… good talk!

Grace and Peace, 

Alannah 

Oliver Family Core Values

We, the Oliver Family, believe in one Triune God consisting of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. The Father sent his Son to die on the cross for the forgiveness of sin and salvation of the elect. After His death on the cross, we believe that Jesus Christ rose from the dead and ascended to Heaven where He now sits at the right hand of the Father. After His ascension, Jesus sent the Holy Spirit to be a helper to all believers.

We believe that the Bible is the Holy Word of God, and that all scripture is God breathed (2 Timothy 3:16). We believe in the authority of the scriptures and are committed to doing regular family devotions, as well as personal study daily. We will hold one another accountable to this standard and build each other up in our struggles.

We, the parents, Justin and Alannah, believe in a complementarian marriage, where the husband and wife are equal in worth and value, but different in roles. We believe in being absolutely faithful to one another, body, mind and soul, and we are committed to having God as the centre of our marriage.

As the husband, Justin, has the role of the “head” (1 Corinthians 11:3). He should provide for his family (1 Timothy 5:8), love his wife as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25), manage his household well (1 Timothy 3:4), lead and teach his wife and children to be Christ-like, and, with all dignity, teach his children to be submissive (1 Timothy 3:4). It is the calling of the husband to be self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, a teacher, sober-minded, gentle, meek and not a lover of money (1 Timothy 3:2-3).

As the wife, Alannah, has the role of the “helper” (Genesis 2:8); she is equal to her husband, but different. She should seek to dress modestly (1 Peter: 3:3), respect her husband, fear the Lord above her husband (Proverbs 31:30), be reverent in her behaviour (Titus 2:3) and teach what is good to her children (Titus 2:4). She should also be self-controlled, pure and homeward in her orientation (Titus 2:3-4).

We believe children are a blessing from the Lord. Godly children should be submissive to their parents (Ephesians 6:1), be pure and upright in their behaviour (Proverbs 20:11), love the Lord with all their heart, mind, soul and strength (Matthew 22:7) and bear the fruits of the spirit, with their life reflecting the beatitudes (Galatians 5:22-23, Matthew 5:3-12). We believe it is the responsibility of both parents to train up their children in the ways of the Lord (Proverbs 22:8).

As a family, we are committed to tithing 10% of our gross income to the church (Deuteronomy 14:22). We believe in the power and importance of prayer, and we will make all of our decisions prayerfully before the throne of God and in accordance with His Word. We deeply believe that lost people matter to God, and therefore, they matter to us.

Above all, we believe that God is the Head of our home and, as we die to our sinful nature daily, we seek to place Him first in everything we do. We realize that it is only by the grace of God that we are saved and we are humbled to be part of His chosen people.

Romans 9: Assurance of Salvation and Election (Maybe the Most Offensive Theology Ever Written)

It’s been awhile since I last wrote. A lot has been happening, but I haven’t really had the chance to sit down and pen something out.

Today is a little different, however. Today I really just have to put into writing how much I love/fear the Lord. Some mornings I wake up and I feel this overwhelming need to praise God – to get into His Word and hide it in my heart. Sure, I read daily God’s Word, but some days it resonates more than others. Do you know what I mean? Anyway, today is one such day.

This morning I was reading Romans 9 in preparation for my meeting with my mentee next week, and I was literally struck with amazement. Amazed at how God works. Amazed that He chooses and calls His children by name. Amazed that the Lord loves, and that equally so, He hates.

I don’t want to get into a huge debate about the doctrine of election, because it’s an ongoing fight that has two sides, and the members of each side are set in their ways. With that said, I think it’s important for everyone reading this to know (and by my “hit tracker”, there are a fair amount of you) that I am, by definition, a Calvinist. In short, I believe that God has already predestined (Romans 8:29-30; Romans 9; insert the many other verses here) or chosen His children.

Probably the main question people ask when they hear me say this is “how do we know who is chosen and who is not?” I’d like to start off by saying that it not our place to know the answer to this question. In Romans 9:15 God relays through the Apostle Paul that “I [God] will have mercy on whom I have mercy”; He doesn’t give us a direct answer or reason for why He chooses some but not others. This can be a really troubling realization for some because, as Matthew 7 reveals in verses 22 and 23, there will be lots of people who awake in the throne room of God on Judgment Day, shocked to behold that they were never really saved like they thought they were. This is chilling and boarder line depressing, isn’t it? But wait a minute – it doesn’t have to be! There is hope (as there always is with God!), because we can have assurance of salvation through Jesus Christ. That means that our lives (the way we think, act and speak) will demonstrate our salvation in a few very important ways (these are the indicators of a truly saved individual):


The following is a modified teaching of Charles Spurgeon

First, we will not habitually commit sin.
By this I mean that, while we will still sin because we are inherently evil and instinctively sinners, we will not perpetually let sin have dominion over us. Primarily because God gives His chosen ones a hate for sin so that when they do sin, it makes them sick and they want to run from their temptations and repent. In other words, God’s chosen will not participate in what I like to call “lifestyle” sins… (i.e. perpetual fornicating, stealing, lying, cheating, hating, murdering or homosexuality, est.)

I don’t want to give anyone the impression that some sins are worse than others, because that’s not that case (every kind of sin nailed Jesus to the cross), but it’s important to note that some sins are more likely to be perpetual than others.

Backed Up by Living Word
"Whosoever is born of God will not commit sin."—1 John 3:9

"How can we who died to sin still live in it?"—Romans 6:2

Second, we will seek to live a holy life by obeying God's Word.
As I said before, we will not obey God's Word perfectly as long as we still have a sinful nature (and we will always have a sinful nature until we are resurrected on the day of the Lord’s second coming). But those who are truly saved will obey the Word of God day-by-day, earnestly desiring to do the right thing. We will work at our salvation with fear and trembling (Philippians 2:12), and following the commands of Jesus will be our priority (even above our sinful lusts and desires). In short, we will die to ourselves.

Side note: This also means that we Calvinists will still seek to minister to the lost. Just because God has already elected His people doesn’t mean we give up the call to evangelize – God said to do it, so we will.

Backed Up by Living Word
"If you know that he is righteous, you may be sure that everyone who practices righteousness has been born of him."—1 John 2:29

"And by this we know that we have come to know him, if we keep his commandments."—1 John 2:3

Third, we will love others, regardless of who they are or what they have done.
First off, please note that this does not mean we condone the sin of others (i.e. we aren’t “cool with it” because God’s not cool with it. God hates sin and so should we!) But since God is love He has given His chosen a desire to love others, especially fellow believers. This love may not always come easy to us, but we will seek to do good to others when we have the opportunity.

Backed Up by Living Word
"Everyone that loves is born of God, and knows God. He that loves does not know God; for God is love."—1 John 4:7-8

"We know that we have passed from death unto life, because we love the brethren."—1 John 3:14

Fourth, our affections will not be set upon the things of the world.
It’s okay to enjoy certain things in the world: travelling, friendships, sports, exercise or other hobbies – but the minute your affections for these things trumps your love for Christ (or you begin seeking these things more than you seek God) you are in trouble. As God’s chosen, Christ should be our all in all and we will give generously and hold loosely to the material possessions we have.

Backed Up by Living Word
"If any man loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him."—1 John 2:15

“For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God. You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him.” - Romans 8:5-9


It’s important to note that “these changes are not the cause of our salvation for we are saved by Christ (as our propitiation and as the giver of the gift of perfect righteousness) through faith—even that is not of ourselves but is a gift from God (Eph. 2:8-9). Rather, these changes are the evidence that we truly have been born again. If they are not evident in our life, it is likely we have not savingly believed in Christ. And therefore, it is vital that we diligently read the Bible until we are assured of having saving faith in Him. The Bible says, "So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God" (Rom. 10:17). A good place to start is 1 John and James for they deal extensively with the changes that result from being born again.” (Charles Spurgeon)

I think a true follower of Christ will see the glory in all this that, by the seeming tension of human responsibility and God’s sovereignty, God has elected His children since before the foundation of the earth. That means that when God created the world in Genesis, He had His elect in mind (Ephesians 1:4). He knew what was going to go down in the Garden of Eden and He knew that His Son would have to come and die for their sins. He knew it all. You can’t surprise God! But because He loves His elect, He let it all happen so that sinful man could one day be made right in His sight. This is what gets me, friends. This is what makes me sit in wonder and awe – I can’t believe God, the only God, looks down at us (His chosen) and thinks we are worth it.

It’s so humbling, because we all deserve Hell. It makes everything else in life seem so small and insignificant… probably because it is.