Tuesday, July 15, 2014 at 6:35 p.m.: the day our lives changed forever. The day Roman Marc Oliver finally made his long awaited arrival after 41 weeks and 1 day of pregnancy.
After such a long pregnancy, and so many false labor alarms, Justin and I were both feeing discouraged when week 41 hit. So, to take our minds off of things we decided to go visit Justin’s parents.
I remember being at their place and sitting on the couch thinking “I feel weird”. For no reason whatsoever I wanted to rush home, so we did. As we left for home, I believe I told Justin that “something doesn’t feel right”. But because I was sick of being disappointed, I put the idea of pending labor out of my mind completely. “Maybe I was getting sick”, I thought. My induction date had been set for Thursday, July 17, and I was completely prepared to have that day as the day I would meet my baby.
When we walked into our house I quickly ran to the bathroom (typical for such a heavily pregnancy woman), but as I finished up I realized I was bleeding. At that point I realized I’d lost my plug, but I didn’t want to get too excited, I brushed it off as nothing (FYI: some women lose their plug weeks and weeks before they deliver). I did call the midwife to let her know (I was 41 weeks after all and any bleeding, if not properly identified, could be very bad) and after that Justin and I settled into watch some TV.
It was around 9:30 p.m. and we were watching an episode of America’s Funniest Home Videos (we love that show!). Justin was folding laundry and I was resting on the couch. Suddenly, and out of nowhere, I started to feel some contractions. If anyone is wondering, a contraction feels like a really bad menstrual cramp that comes in a big wave, starting off slow and increasing in intensity (at least that was my experience).
While I had been having false labor for a few weeks, these contractions were noticeably stronger and far more regular than anything I’d experienced before. Right away, Justin and I decided to call it a night… just in case this was the real deal we wanted to be well rested.
We got into bed and the contractions continued. Justin began timing them and they were about seven minutes apart… not really anything to get too excited about, but as time passed, the contractions got closer together, but still irregular. Some were four minutes apart while others were about six. Finally I couldn’t take it anymore. It got too painful! I had to get up and get in the shower. Justin called the midwife and she agreed to come over and check me to see if I was dilated. At that point, I was sure I was.
In the shower, I rocked, paced and prayed through each contraction. I turned on worship music nice and loud and got into “the labor zone”. Contractions were about four minutes apart at that point and coming on pretty regularly. My mom, sister and doula were also called and put on standby in case things progressed.
After about half an hour my midwife showed up and my contractions continued. I got out of the shower (which really sucked because I was so comfortable in there) and she checked me for dilatation. Nothing. That’s right. Nothing! My cervix was short and very soft, but not dilated. I was beyond discouraged as the midwife mentioned the possibility that this might just be another false alarm. I think deep in my heart I knew it wasn’t though. She recommended that, just case this was in fact real, we all try and get some sleep.
My mom and my sister came over and slept downstairs. I think they were hoping just as bad as we were that this was the real thing. And even though we weren’t sure if it was at that point, I’m so glad that they decided to stay because all through the night (from about 11 p.m. to 7 a.m.) I was having regular and very painful contractions. I remember my mom and sister spelling Justin off and taking turns lying with me in bed. There are many sweet moments that I recall during that time if you can believe it, including holding my sisters had while I fell asleep, praying with my husband and feeling my mom rub my back as I went through yet another painful contraction.
Even though my contractions were pretty strong and steady, I somehow managed to get a few minutes of sleep between each. Not real sleep, but I rested pretty well all things considered. I remember to breath through each contraction slow and strong. This actually really helped, and I also developed my own little groan, which helped regulate my breathing and relax my body. We learned in our Bradley class that labor will progress if you relax, so that became my mantra – just relax and let it happen. One contraction at a time. I am so glad Justin and I invested in the 12 weeks Bradley Birthing Class because, even though I’d never experienced labor before, I felt well prepared for it.
At about 6:30 a.m. my sister climbed into bed with me. I remember feeling a very strong wave of contraction coming on so I sat up in bed and swung my feet to the ground. As I did I felt a huge gush of water fall from me. My water had broken! I quickly checked to make sure I hadn’t just peed myself, but it became evident that this wasn’t the case. When I realized that the water was tinted green, I knew 100% that Roman had indeed pooped inside of me (thanks little buddy!).
Contrary to what some people might think, a baby pooping in utero is not necessarily an emergency situation. Babies poop in the womb for one of two reasons: they are big and overdue or they are in distress (this is when it gets dangerous). The midwife checked Roman’s heart rate and he wasn’t in distress, he was just ready to come out! Regardless, even though it wasn’t an emergency, this meant that I’d have to deliver Roman in the Hospital. Something that I was thankfully prepared for; our bags were already packed and ready to go!
If you’ve followed my blog at all over the past nine months, you’ll know that I made a promise to God and myself that I wouldn’t hold on too tightly to anything. If I got to have a homebirth, then great, if not, than that’s great too.
So off to the Hospital we went!
I was admitted into the Labor and Delivery department at about 8 a.m. My midwife once again checked me for dilatation and I was ONLY 2 cm dilated. It was unbelievable! I wasn’t even considered to be in active labor! I was once again totally and utterly discouraged.
Realizing that things in the department were getting busier, my midwife decided to try and push my cervix open to 4 cm (this is what they consider to be active labor). This hurt like crazy (you have no idea…), but praise God it worked! I was officially in active labor and was able to get my own labor room right away.
By this time my contractions were about two or three minutes apart and steady. In the labor room was my midwife, doula, husband, sister and mom. I want to take a minute to say how comfortable the labor rooms are at OSMH! There are flat screen TVs (not that we used that), a couch, rocking chair, private bathroom and shower and a nice bed.
I sat and rocked in a rocking chair through each contraction rather than lying in the bed. In fact, I spent a good part of my labor taking on each contraction while rocking back and forth, holding hands with one or more of my support team. This is a good time to mention that I had mad back labor, and let me tell you – it’s not fun! I barley felt any contracting in the front of me as it was all concentrated in the back. I did a few pelvic tilts to try and get Roman to move into a better position, but nothing worked! It was intense and it was painful. I couldn’t do anything but deal with it and ride through each contraction by relaxing and breathing as best I could.
It’s really true what people say, a laboring woman really gets into a zone where nothing else matters. My eyes were closed most of the time and I was in survival mode.
For the next 10 and a half hours, Justin (supported by my mom, midwife, sister and doula) coached me through the hard process of labor. My doula and Justin helped me in and out of the shower a few times, spraying my back with the shower head to try and relive the intense back labor I was experiencing. The shower seemed to pacify things, but it never eased it totally.
A few hours into my labor at the Hospital, I received a small shot of morphine to help me sleep between contractions. It didn’t ease the pain, but it did help with the relaxation between contractions. My midwife recommended it since I really hadn’t slept since Sunday night at that point. The morphine lasted approximately two hours and then it was gone. I was once again completely drug free.
A few more hours into things and my midwife wanted to check me again to see how far I’d dilated. Getting checked while having a contraction really HURTS! But it was worth it when I heard her say, “alright Alannah, you are 10 cm dilated!” The only problem was the phase that followed: “only you have a small cervical lip so we need to get rid of that and once we do you can push that baby out!”
For those that don’t know, a cervical lip is when your cervix doesn’t evenly dilate, meaning there the cervix has a small part blocking the baby from coming out. We tried everything to try get this lip to go away, but nothing was working and tensions were rising and I was still in immense pain. The midwife said the lip was small and pliable, meaning there was potential to push the lip over the baby’s head to get him free. She tried this several times (OUCH!), but it didn’t work.
Finally, my midwife had no other choice than to transfer care to the doctors at the hospital so they could give me an epidural (something I preferred not to get) so I could get some rest and hopefully make time for the lip to recede on it’s own. Worst case scenario, I’d have to have a c section and this honestly terrified me, but I tried to stay calm through the pain and stress.
My support team was getting worried too, though they didn’t let on to it. They gently encouraged me and tried to keep me drinking my coconut water and juice to keep my energy up. But it was getting tense and everyone knew it. My mom sent out a text to my aunt who works at our church asking her to get people to pray that the lip would go away.
They made the call to the doctor to come in and administer the epidural. I was crushed and still reeling in pain. Things got worse when I was told that he was in surgery and that it would be more than an hour before he could get me the epidural, meaning I’d have to continue laboring in vain. The worst part was that my body was telling me to push! I had the strongest urge to push Roman out, but was told to try and hold back so as to not make the lip bigger. I remember throwing my head back in agony trying to fight what nature was telling me to do. It was the hardest part of the labor so far.
About 15 minutes after my care was transferred to the doctors, a nurse came into my room. My midwife let her know the situation and she calmly asked if she could try pushing the lip back. I almost declined because I didn’t want to go through that again, but thankfully agreed. Within about three tries of pushing the cervix back… SHE DID IT! THE LIP WAS OUT OF THE WAY! CARE WAS TRAFERED BACK TO MY MIDWIFE, THE EDPIDURAL AND DOCTOR WERE CANCELLED AND MY MIDWIFE SAID, “PUSH THAT BABY OUT OF YOU!”
Side note: while Roman was not in distress throughout my labor, it was still necessary to have a respiratory therapist on standby in case he inhaled his poop and needed to have it suctioned out of his lungs. If he was silent upon delivery he would need to get passed off to be suctioned, but if he cried upon delivery, he would be put on my chest for me to kiss and hug and love all over. We were obviously hoping for the latter of the two, but it was impossible to tell what would happen until the time came…
I 100% believe that the prayers of my church family are what allowed the nurse to push my lip back. Even through the pain I was in complete and utter disbelief and happiness – I was going to get what I wanted, I was going to get to deliver my baby without an epidural or c section!
I lied on my side, one leg on the bed, one held by my mom (how cool is that, she was so involved!), Justin and my doula each holding a hand, and my sister at the end of the bed crouched down at eye level watching the whole thing. I remember everyone cheering me on, yelling “KEEP GOING! KEEP GOING! WE SEE HIS HEAD, ROMAN’S HEAD. HE HAS HAIR!” I also remember Julianne saying that his head looked like an avocado… (haha) not sure if that happened or if I imagined it.
This portion of the birth story seems almost comical to me, though it was by far the most painful. I was yelling some pretty funny things like: “I’m going to rip in half!” and “MOMMY!” My midwife asked me if I wanted a mirror to see his head crowning and, in the moment, I was appalled by this question and screamed “ EWWWW NOOOO!” Someone also grabbed my hand as he was crowing and put it on his head so I could feel it. To this I remember also freaking out and yelling “NOO STOPPP!”
As I was pushing, I remember thinking to myself, “it’s just like an intense workout… you keep going. You want to stop, but you keep going because you want results. Keep pushing through. Go! Go!” And I did.
At 6:35 p.m., I gave two solid pushes. One which partially delivered his head, and the second to deliver the whole rest of him! The relief I felt with that last push was amazing. And to top it all off… my baby cried… no, SCREAMED, upon delivery and he was placed on my chest to hug, kiss and love all over. No need for us to be separated, no need for the suction. Praise God!
I remember seeing him for the first time and the first thing I said to him was, “ROMAN! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.” Followed by “YOU LOOK LIKE JOSIE” (Josie is my niece).
Justin cut the cord and the three of us kissed, snuggled, cried and in that beautiful moment, Justin prayed over our 9 lbs 7 oz baby Roman.
The whole ordeal still seems so surreal to me. And while it was by far the most painful thing I’ve ever experience, it was also the most beautiful. In the moments of darkness and pain, I learned to lean into my Heavenly Father more and more, and depend on my husband for support and coaching. I also learned that my mom and sister are by far the most amazing women in the world, not leaving my side until Roman was in my arms. My doula’s sweet compassionate spirit and gentle encouragement was invaluable, and my midwife’s skill and patience was essential to this safe and healthy birth.
God has defiantly used this experience to grow me as a person. I learned that sometimes pain is necessary for progress. My body was pushed to the limit and there was nothing I could do by rely on Him. I praise God that things ended the way they did and they He decided to bless me with the labor and delivery I’d hoped for. I take no credit for anything… if I learned one thing through all this it’s that I am weak but my Lord is strong. A mighty fortress is my God.
In the words of my Nana, the beautiful Karen Storey, “Our awesome God answers prayers. I love Him.”
