As you probably already know, Justin and I found out last night that we are having a little boy! His name will be Roman Marc Oliver.
I knew in my heart that I was having a boy. In fact, I have always known I’d have a first born son. When I used to talk about having kids, I would always tell people “I just know the Lord is going to give me a son first.” Don’t ask me why I had this inclination, I just did. Maybe mother’s intuition or maybe God was preparing my heart to love and receive a little man into my life. Whatever the reason I am so truly excited to welcome this little life into the world.
And I’ve always known that he’d be named Roman. I tried to like other boy names, and some of them came pretty close, but something about the name Roman made me melt a little and I knew he’d come to be a real person some day. This is the reason why we have decided to tell everyone Roman’s name now. I feel like with pregnancy comes a lot of secrets (i.e. keeping pregnancy a secret for first trimester, keeping gender a secret, keeping the child’s name a secret), and while I totally understand why some people might want to do this (they might genuinely not know the name of their baby until he/she is born, and that’s totally cool!) for me, I’m just sick of the secrets! I try to keep my life an open book to world, so secrets don’t really fit in. Also, a name gives a person an identity and Justin and I wanted to give our baby that right away. We want people to pray for him by name, talk about him by name and know him by name – that’s just something that’s important to me. (So please, pray for my little bean by name!)
So, why the name Roman? I’ve been asked this quite a few times and it’s a good question. Roman isn’t a very popular name in North America.
I think originally I was really drawn to the manliness of the name Roman. It’s Latin in origin and means “strong and powerful” and when I hear the name Roman, that’s exactly what I think. But above all, I really love how it reflects the book of Romans, a work of the Apostle Paul rich in theological text and one of my favourite books of the Bible. The book of Romans proclaims the glory of the Lord Jesus Christ by teaching doctrine and edifying and encouraging believers. I can only hope and pray that my little Roman will do the same with his life – teach doctrine, edify and encourage fellow believes and ultimately proclaim the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ all the days of his life.
Side note: it’s so ironic that I have been studying the book of Romans over the past few months! This was NOT planned! It’s a total coincidence…funny, eh?!
Anyway, that’s the story of the name Roman.
Even as I type, I can feel him moving inside of me and I am filled with a hundred different emotions: joy, fear, excitement, love, peace, and so much more.
Please keep Justin and me in your prayers as we prepare for the birth of our son, Roman Marc Oliver. Please pray for Roman, that he is born healthy and safe, but above all, that God saves him at an early age. Pray that he becomes and man of integrity – a good husband to whatever woman God blesses him with. It’s not too early to pray for those things! Roman will only be a little boy for a few years and I want prayer to pave the way for a godly life.
Thanks, friends.
Grace and Peace,
Alannah
Wednesday, 29 January 2014
Tuesday, 28 January 2014
A Special Note from a Daddy-To-Be
Everyone knows how important Moms are, but sometimes Dads get the short end of the stick. But the truth is, every child needs a positive and Godly male role model in their lives to help them grow and develop into who God has called them to be. Sadly, in today's society, more and more children go to bed each night without a Daddy. This hurts my heart to think about. Dads are SO important!
By no merit of my own, I have been blessed with a man who is super eager and ready to take on the responsibilities of fatherhood. Today, he wrote me a little note reminding me of this.
I love you, Justin. Thanks for being such a good man.
Alannah,
I am so excited about this baby, like seriously I just got a huge surge of Joy.
If it’s a boy I’m going to be dedicated to spending time with him, raising him in the ways of the Lord, teaching him to respect and love his mother and to honor and cherish women and not idolize them. Im’ going to teach him to be watchful, to stand firm in the faith, to act like a man, to be strong and to let everything he does be done in love. I’m going to teach him about dignity but most importantly how to Love the Lord with all his heart, soul, mind and strength.
If it’s a little girl I’m going to be dedicated to Daddy daughter dates, making her feel beautiful, give her encouraging words of affirmation, tell her what to expect in a man and to demonstrate that by example, I will cherish and protect her and teach her that if any boy is to date her he has to date me first. I will teach her that she has value and worth and that her body, her virginity and her life is to be held with high esteem and honor and not to just be thrown away to just anybody. But most importantly I will teach her to be a woman of God, to be Christ like and to teach her to be a Titus 2 and a Proverbs 31 woman.
If it’s a boy I’m going to be dedicated to spending time with him, raising him in the ways of the Lord, teaching him to respect and love his mother and to honor and cherish women and not idolize them. Im’ going to teach him to be watchful, to stand firm in the faith, to act like a man, to be strong and to let everything he does be done in love. I’m going to teach him about dignity but most importantly how to Love the Lord with all his heart, soul, mind and strength.
If it’s a little girl I’m going to be dedicated to Daddy daughter dates, making her feel beautiful, give her encouraging words of affirmation, tell her what to expect in a man and to demonstrate that by example, I will cherish and protect her and teach her that if any boy is to date her he has to date me first. I will teach her that she has value and worth and that her body, her virginity and her life is to be held with high esteem and honor and not to just be thrown away to just anybody. But most importantly I will teach her to be a woman of God, to be Christ like and to teach her to be a Titus 2 and a Proverbs 31 woman.
Love,
Justin
Friday, 24 January 2014
Alannah's Top 10 Pregnancy Cravings
#10 - Tropical Mike and Ikes
These delicious little candies are in fact the ONLY sweet thing I have craved this whole entire pregnancy... no word of a lie! Please note that the green ones are particularly amazing!
#9 - Ketchup
#8 - Rapini and/or Broccoli
#7 - Spicy Noodles
#6 - Bread (any kind)
What's better than fresh baked bread with some butter... or a bagel with cream cheese in the morning? I love it all!
#5 - Sushi
Veggie sushi, that is. *Sigh* I can't wait to get my hands on some of that spicy salmon goodness when this baby is born... that'll be amazing. 'Cuz veggie sushi doesn't really cut it... it's like a tease:(
#4 - Olives and/or Pickles
#3 - Water
#2 - Strawberries
What's not to love?
#1 - Salmon
Thursday, 23 January 2014
Romans 5: Suffering the Sin of Adam, Hope in the Righteousness of Christ
Main Ideas:
We can have peace with God because we have been justified through faith in Christ.
Suffering produces endurance.
The sin of Adam brought condemnation to all of mankind.
The righteous of Christ brings hope to all of mankind.
Summary:
Picture it: you’re seated in front of God the Father on judgment day. It’s time for Him to determine your eternal fate – heaven or hell? All of the world watches and waits as God considers all the deeds you’ve done while on earth. The Prosecutor, Satan, has made a good case against you. He has proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are a sinner. In your earthly life, you sinned every single day – you were and are totally depraved! You most definitely deserve the maximum punishment: eternity in hell. God shakes His head; the evidence against you is too great. And just as He’s about to bang His gavel and make your fate in hell official, Jesus Christ enters the courtroom. He approaches the Father with blood stained hands and feet. He humbly reminds the Father of His blood that was shed, just for you! He willingly takes the punishment in your place. The Father accepts Christ’s act of sacrifice as atonement for your sin, and you go free into heaven, the weight of sin no longer upon your shoulders.
As shown in this analogy, Paul makes it very clear through the book of Romans that the only reason we can approach the Father, the only reason we can spend eternity in heaven, is because of the shed blood of Christ. The term “justified through faith” is used often in this book and simply means that if we truly believe that Christ’s death paid the penalty for our sins, we can be cleansed of all unrighteousness. As we have learned in our study of Romans, this free gift was given to us, we did not seek it out and we did nothing to deserve it. We were simply chosen by the grace of God as one of His elect. This is possibly the most humbling realization of all. This is exactly the reminder given in the first few verses of Romans 5. In the midst of this reminder, Paul also touches on the role that trials play in our lives. They are important because “suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame” (vs. 4-5). These hardships are ordained by God and invaluable for our growth and development. We need them so we can have an unshakable faith in Christ, for it’s that faith that saves us.
The later part of Romans 5 talks about how the sin of Adam condemned us to a life apart of God, but the righteous sacrifice of Christ restored us. If Christ has not laid down His life for us, the wages of our sins would be death (Romans 6:23), but praise God that we can have eternal life if we have faith in His son’s blood.
Discussion Questions:
In the New Covenant we are saved through faith in Jesus’ Christ, what saved people in the Old Covenant?
How has the suffering in your life allowed you to grow in your faith?
Living Word:
About Trials:
Matthew 5:10-12
James 1:12
John 16:33
Job 2:10
About Jesus Saving Us:
1 John 2:2
Romans 6:23
2 Corinthians 5:21
We can have peace with God because we have been justified through faith in Christ.
Suffering produces endurance.
The sin of Adam brought condemnation to all of mankind.
The righteous of Christ brings hope to all of mankind.
Summary:
Picture it: you’re seated in front of God the Father on judgment day. It’s time for Him to determine your eternal fate – heaven or hell? All of the world watches and waits as God considers all the deeds you’ve done while on earth. The Prosecutor, Satan, has made a good case against you. He has proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are a sinner. In your earthly life, you sinned every single day – you were and are totally depraved! You most definitely deserve the maximum punishment: eternity in hell. God shakes His head; the evidence against you is too great. And just as He’s about to bang His gavel and make your fate in hell official, Jesus Christ enters the courtroom. He approaches the Father with blood stained hands and feet. He humbly reminds the Father of His blood that was shed, just for you! He willingly takes the punishment in your place. The Father accepts Christ’s act of sacrifice as atonement for your sin, and you go free into heaven, the weight of sin no longer upon your shoulders.
As shown in this analogy, Paul makes it very clear through the book of Romans that the only reason we can approach the Father, the only reason we can spend eternity in heaven, is because of the shed blood of Christ. The term “justified through faith” is used often in this book and simply means that if we truly believe that Christ’s death paid the penalty for our sins, we can be cleansed of all unrighteousness. As we have learned in our study of Romans, this free gift was given to us, we did not seek it out and we did nothing to deserve it. We were simply chosen by the grace of God as one of His elect. This is possibly the most humbling realization of all. This is exactly the reminder given in the first few verses of Romans 5. In the midst of this reminder, Paul also touches on the role that trials play in our lives. They are important because “suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame” (vs. 4-5). These hardships are ordained by God and invaluable for our growth and development. We need them so we can have an unshakable faith in Christ, for it’s that faith that saves us.
The later part of Romans 5 talks about how the sin of Adam condemned us to a life apart of God, but the righteous sacrifice of Christ restored us. If Christ has not laid down His life for us, the wages of our sins would be death (Romans 6:23), but praise God that we can have eternal life if we have faith in His son’s blood.
Discussion Questions:
In the New Covenant we are saved through faith in Jesus’ Christ, what saved people in the Old Covenant?
How has the suffering in your life allowed you to grow in your faith?
Living Word:
About Trials:
Matthew 5:10-12
James 1:12
John 16:33
Job 2:10
About Jesus Saving Us:
1 John 2:2
Romans 6:23
2 Corinthians 5:21
Friday, 17 January 2014
Romans 4: Faith Like Abraham
Main Ideas:
Abraham is declared righteous through faith.
We are saved by faith, not works.
We have no right to boast.
Summary:
Paul uses Abraham as an example in this text because he was well respected among the Jewish people. While Abraham followed the Lord’s leading in his life, he was ultimately saved by his faith. God told him that he would be the father of many, and although he was old and his wife Sarah was barren, he has full faith that God would do as he promised. It was by this blind faith that Abraham was saved. Because he was saved through faith and not works, Abraham would have no reason or right to boast to man or to God about himself because the grace to carry out any and all good works comes from God alone (i.e. God would get to boast). But even if, by some bizarre turn of events, Abraham could attribute the good works he had done to himself, he STILL would have no right to boast because he is still a sinful man, a man who constantly fell short of the glory of God – as all humans do (Romans 3:23). In short, no one can be justified through works. We are justified through faith in Jesus Christ. The rabbis argued that Abraham kept the law perfectly, even before it was given to him. Obviously this could not be true because last week in Romans 3 study we learn that “no one is righteous” and that “everyone does evil”. We are born evil and we are total depraved, and while Abraham was a godly man, this doesn’t mean that he was exempt from these principles because he was only human. He was not Jesus Christ, who of course was the only sinless man in all of history. The idea of grace stands opposite the principle of works; grace has to do with receiving the freely given gift of God, while works has to do with earning our merit before God. A system of works would put God in our debt. It implies that God owes us our salvation and blessing because of our good works. However, the truth is that it is faith in Jesus Christ alone that saves us. Our good works should flow from a heart of thankfulness to God who freely gave us salvation through the death of His son, though we did not deserve it one little bit! We still need to value good works, but we can’t elevate them to the point where we believe they will save us.
Discussion Questions:
We know good works cannot save us, but is there value in good works?
There is most definitely value in good works! In fact, the Bible says that “faith without works in dead!” (James 2:17) The key here is to remember that all our good works need to steam from a heart of love and submission to God our Father who saved us. We can never boast in the good works we do because it’s God who gives us the grace to carry out these works in a way that is ultimately pleasing to God. Many pagans do good works, but God doesn’t see them as good because they aren’t done to the glory of His name – therefore, they are in vain. This is a huge point of controversy, but the Bible says it to be the truth.
Though Abraham was an imperfect man, he demonstrated great faith in God several times through his life. We need to model this faith in our own lives by trusting in God, even when things seem too hard or impossible. While God may not give us everything we want, He will always give us the things we will need to bring Him glory. This means that even in trials and tribulations we need to know for certain that God is on His throne, He is in control and through the hard times, we will be brought forth as gold (Job 23:10). We may have to suffer here on earth, but the promises He has set before those who love His name WILL one day come to fruition in the Heavenly place. If we set our minds on those things – the things above – then we have demonstrated the faith of Abraham.
Supporting Verses:
Jeremiah 9:23
Ephesians 2:8-9
John 3:16
Galatians 2:16
Galatians 3:5-6
Philippians 3:9
Amen!
Abraham is declared righteous through faith.
We are saved by faith, not works.
We have no right to boast.
Summary:
Paul uses Abraham as an example in this text because he was well respected among the Jewish people. While Abraham followed the Lord’s leading in his life, he was ultimately saved by his faith. God told him that he would be the father of many, and although he was old and his wife Sarah was barren, he has full faith that God would do as he promised. It was by this blind faith that Abraham was saved. Because he was saved through faith and not works, Abraham would have no reason or right to boast to man or to God about himself because the grace to carry out any and all good works comes from God alone (i.e. God would get to boast). But even if, by some bizarre turn of events, Abraham could attribute the good works he had done to himself, he STILL would have no right to boast because he is still a sinful man, a man who constantly fell short of the glory of God – as all humans do (Romans 3:23). In short, no one can be justified through works. We are justified through faith in Jesus Christ. The rabbis argued that Abraham kept the law perfectly, even before it was given to him. Obviously this could not be true because last week in Romans 3 study we learn that “no one is righteous” and that “everyone does evil”. We are born evil and we are total depraved, and while Abraham was a godly man, this doesn’t mean that he was exempt from these principles because he was only human. He was not Jesus Christ, who of course was the only sinless man in all of history. The idea of grace stands opposite the principle of works; grace has to do with receiving the freely given gift of God, while works has to do with earning our merit before God. A system of works would put God in our debt. It implies that God owes us our salvation and blessing because of our good works. However, the truth is that it is faith in Jesus Christ alone that saves us. Our good works should flow from a heart of thankfulness to God who freely gave us salvation through the death of His son, though we did not deserve it one little bit! We still need to value good works, but we can’t elevate them to the point where we believe they will save us.
Discussion Questions:
We know good works cannot save us, but is there value in good works?
There is most definitely value in good works! In fact, the Bible says that “faith without works in dead!” (James 2:17) The key here is to remember that all our good works need to steam from a heart of love and submission to God our Father who saved us. We can never boast in the good works we do because it’s God who gives us the grace to carry out these works in a way that is ultimately pleasing to God. Many pagans do good works, but God doesn’t see them as good because they aren’t done to the glory of His name – therefore, they are in vain. This is a huge point of controversy, but the Bible says it to be the truth.
How can we follow Abraham’s example in our own lives?
Though Abraham was an imperfect man, he demonstrated great faith in God several times through his life. We need to model this faith in our own lives by trusting in God, even when things seem too hard or impossible. While God may not give us everything we want, He will always give us the things we will need to bring Him glory. This means that even in trials and tribulations we need to know for certain that God is on His throne, He is in control and through the hard times, we will be brought forth as gold (Job 23:10). We may have to suffer here on earth, but the promises He has set before those who love His name WILL one day come to fruition in the Heavenly place. If we set our minds on those things – the things above – then we have demonstrated the faith of Abraham.
Supporting Verses:
Jeremiah 9:23
Ephesians 2:8-9
John 3:16
Galatians 2:16
Galatians 3:5-6
Philippians 3:9
Amen!
Romans 3: Totally Depraved
Main Ideas:
God is faithful even when we aren’t.
Both Jews and Gentiles can be saved.
All of mankind is total depravity – there is no one who does good!
No one can boast in themselves.
We are reconciled\justified to God through faith in Christ Jesus as our Lord and Saviour.
Summary:
Paul begins in verse one by addressing the importance of the Jewish religion. Paul saw value in the nation of Israel because of the fact that the Jews were the first nation to observe God’s law, or as verse 2 says “be entrusted with the oracles of God”. However, while some Jews were unfaithful (i.e. rebuking Jesus as the Messiah), Paul was carful to point out that this did not change the faithfulness of God. Paul’s point in the following verses (5-8) shows that the depravity of the world does not impact the goodness of God. Verses 9-18 and 23 show the total depravity of man apart of our Creator. Since no one in righteous, no one can save themselves from sin – only by the grace of God are we saved (24). Verse 20 points out that no human can be saved by works. In the remaining verses (27-32) Paul makes it clear that NO man can boast in their doings, because even the good we do is simply the grace of God working though us. God is not only the God of the Jews, he is the God of those who find their righteous through faith in Christ Jesus (people of any race or ethnicity, or the Bible would call it, the Gentiles). God justifies to Himself those who understand that they are total depraved and in need of a Saviour. Through the death of Christ God can welcome us into Heaven and wipe out our past sins from his mind. Without the blood of Christ, this would not be possible. Therefore, no one can boast in their own goodness, because no one is good.
Discussion Questions:
What does Total Depravity mean?
When we speak of man's depravity we mean man's natural condition apart from God’s grace to restrain himself from doing evil/sinning. But even if a man does decide not to sin (i.e. goes into a store, decides not to steal) and his reason for not doing so is not based on God’s law and grace, then he is still evil in God’s sight since goodness only comes from God.
John Piper says, “There is no doubt that man could perform more evil acts toward his fellow man than he does. But if he is restrained from performing more evil acts by motives that are not owing to his glad submission to God, then even his "virtue" is evil in the sight of God.” (I.e. if a person does something “good”, like not steal at a store, and his reason for not stealing does not flow out of a knowledge and love for God and His grace, then he is still evil in God’s sight because all good comes from faith in Christ Jesus.) The reason for this is told in Romans 14:23, which says, "Whatever does not proceed from faith is sin."
The bottom line is we can’t measure the goodness of a person in relation to other men, because other men are evil. Instead our comparison of good and evil can only come from God. Only God is good, therefore anyone who does not live by God’s grace is not good.
Are there any exceptions? Are all men totally depraved?
Yes. All of mankind is totally depraved. Here are some supporting verses:
Romans 3:9-12
Mark 10:18/Luke 18:19
1 John 1:8,10
Mark 7:21-23
Psalm 5:9
Jeremiah 17:9
Genesis 6:5 & 8:21
What is the punishment we deserve because of our rebellion and total depravity?
Our rebellion is totally deserving of eternal punishment. Total depravity means that our rebellion against God is total, everything we do in this rebellion is sin, our inability to submit to God or reform ourselves is total, and we are therefore totally deserving of eternal punishment.
God is faithful even when we aren’t.
Both Jews and Gentiles can be saved.
All of mankind is total depravity – there is no one who does good!
No one can boast in themselves.
We are reconciled\justified to God through faith in Christ Jesus as our Lord and Saviour.
Summary:
Paul begins in verse one by addressing the importance of the Jewish religion. Paul saw value in the nation of Israel because of the fact that the Jews were the first nation to observe God’s law, or as verse 2 says “be entrusted with the oracles of God”. However, while some Jews were unfaithful (i.e. rebuking Jesus as the Messiah), Paul was carful to point out that this did not change the faithfulness of God. Paul’s point in the following verses (5-8) shows that the depravity of the world does not impact the goodness of God. Verses 9-18 and 23 show the total depravity of man apart of our Creator. Since no one in righteous, no one can save themselves from sin – only by the grace of God are we saved (24). Verse 20 points out that no human can be saved by works. In the remaining verses (27-32) Paul makes it clear that NO man can boast in their doings, because even the good we do is simply the grace of God working though us. God is not only the God of the Jews, he is the God of those who find their righteous through faith in Christ Jesus (people of any race or ethnicity, or the Bible would call it, the Gentiles). God justifies to Himself those who understand that they are total depraved and in need of a Saviour. Through the death of Christ God can welcome us into Heaven and wipe out our past sins from his mind. Without the blood of Christ, this would not be possible. Therefore, no one can boast in their own goodness, because no one is good.
Discussion Questions:
What does Total Depravity mean?
When we speak of man's depravity we mean man's natural condition apart from God’s grace to restrain himself from doing evil/sinning. But even if a man does decide not to sin (i.e. goes into a store, decides not to steal) and his reason for not doing so is not based on God’s law and grace, then he is still evil in God’s sight since goodness only comes from God.
John Piper says, “There is no doubt that man could perform more evil acts toward his fellow man than he does. But if he is restrained from performing more evil acts by motives that are not owing to his glad submission to God, then even his "virtue" is evil in the sight of God.” (I.e. if a person does something “good”, like not steal at a store, and his reason for not stealing does not flow out of a knowledge and love for God and His grace, then he is still evil in God’s sight because all good comes from faith in Christ Jesus.) The reason for this is told in Romans 14:23, which says, "Whatever does not proceed from faith is sin."
The bottom line is we can’t measure the goodness of a person in relation to other men, because other men are evil. Instead our comparison of good and evil can only come from God. Only God is good, therefore anyone who does not live by God’s grace is not good.
Are there any exceptions? Are all men totally depraved?
Yes. All of mankind is totally depraved. Here are some supporting verses:
Romans 3:9-12
Mark 10:18/Luke 18:19
1 John 1:8,10
Mark 7:21-23
Psalm 5:9
Jeremiah 17:9
Genesis 6:5 & 8:21
What is the punishment we deserve because of our rebellion and total depravity?
Our rebellion is totally deserving of eternal punishment. Total depravity means that our rebellion against God is total, everything we do in this rebellion is sin, our inability to submit to God or reform ourselves is total, and we are therefore totally deserving of eternal punishment.
However, the only saving grace comes from God, who loved us so much that “while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)
Amen!
Romans Road
I have the amazing privilege of mentoring a beautiful and amazing woman of God, who has become one of my very best friends over
the past few months. In our meetings together recently, we have been studying
the book of Romans. I LOVE the book of Romans. Its rich theological texts
stretch my knowledge and understanding of the Word of God and I learn so much
through reading, discussing and reviewing its contents.
Each time I meet with my friend for a “mentoring” session
(which I am hesitant to call it because I honestly learn just as much from her
as she does from me!) we go through the book of Romans one chapter at a time
and I prepare a summary to accompany the text. I have decided to start posting
those summaries here because it’s a great way to track what I've written.
I’ll start by posting my Romans 3 and 4 summaries.
I hope
they a do justice to the original text by giving you an even deeper
understanding of his Word and ultimately bring glory to God.
Thanks, friends!
Grace and Peace,
Alannah
Tuesday, 14 January 2014
Let Your Marriage Grow with Baby
Fun fact of the day: Justin and I are not going to co-sleep with our children. And while many couples I know find co-sleeping to be the right thing to do for them, I just can’t justify it in my mind. I don’t think that co-sleeping with your child is unlawful Biblically, but at the same time, I don’t find it helpful to the cause of marriage either.
Besides the obvious physical boundaries that having a baby in bed with you creates, there are other spiritual and emotional issues that arise as well.
Ever since Justin and I got married, our bedroom has been a place for us to just be together, rest up and hang out, and when baby comes, I want it to remain that way. Mom and Dad need a place for just us two to be together, pray, be intimate, talk and relax. Just because a baby comes into the picture DOES NOT give married couples to right to disengage from each other. In fact, in this time more than ever, they need to grow stronger as a couple and connect daily. How can you do that if baby is attached to you day AND night? Truth is, you can’t, and some healthy separation from baby is needed for couples have time to invest in each other.
I’ll be off on MAT leave for one year with Baby Oliver and in my head, I see our nights going something like this (obviously this will be once baby is in a routine, but it’s what we are going to work towards):
1) Dad gets home from work
2) Dad, Mom and Baby chill out, eat dinner, est.
3) Baby falls asleep and is put in crib
4) Mom and Dad have time to hang out, reconnect, pray and just talk about the day
5) Mom and Dad go to bed together, alone – baby wakes up and Mom tends to baby in baby’s room so Dad can rest for work
I understand that this will take some commitment on my end (i.e. I’ll have to get up to feed the baby every night instead of just pulling him\her into bed with me), but I am OK with that. I want our bedroom to be a place for Justin and I to be alone and this means establishing boundaries with our children from the very beginning. Pastor Mark Driscoll and his wife Grace have this very same rule in their home and Mark talks very seriously about its importance. And when I look at a marriage like theirs, I’d be a fool not to heed his wisdom.
Now, I am not heartless. If my sweet Baby Oliver gets a bad dream in the middle of the night and needs to spend a few minutes lying with us, then that’s perfectly fine. But the actual act of sleeping side-by-side all night long is for Mom and Dad only. I believe this also sends a message to babies and kids. It says: “Mom and Dad are one. They are untied. They do life together, sleep together, eat together, laugh together, talk together, and they are one flesh.”
Besides the obvious physical boundaries that having a baby in bed with you creates, there are other spiritual and emotional issues that arise as well.
Ever since Justin and I got married, our bedroom has been a place for us to just be together, rest up and hang out, and when baby comes, I want it to remain that way. Mom and Dad need a place for just us two to be together, pray, be intimate, talk and relax. Just because a baby comes into the picture DOES NOT give married couples to right to disengage from each other. In fact, in this time more than ever, they need to grow stronger as a couple and connect daily. How can you do that if baby is attached to you day AND night? Truth is, you can’t, and some healthy separation from baby is needed for couples have time to invest in each other.
I’ll be off on MAT leave for one year with Baby Oliver and in my head, I see our nights going something like this (obviously this will be once baby is in a routine, but it’s what we are going to work towards):
1) Dad gets home from work
2) Dad, Mom and Baby chill out, eat dinner, est.
3) Baby falls asleep and is put in crib
4) Mom and Dad have time to hang out, reconnect, pray and just talk about the day
5) Mom and Dad go to bed together, alone – baby wakes up and Mom tends to baby in baby’s room so Dad can rest for work
I understand that this will take some commitment on my end (i.e. I’ll have to get up to feed the baby every night instead of just pulling him\her into bed with me), but I am OK with that. I want our bedroom to be a place for Justin and I to be alone and this means establishing boundaries with our children from the very beginning. Pastor Mark Driscoll and his wife Grace have this very same rule in their home and Mark talks very seriously about its importance. And when I look at a marriage like theirs, I’d be a fool not to heed his wisdom.
Now, I am not heartless. If my sweet Baby Oliver gets a bad dream in the middle of the night and needs to spend a few minutes lying with us, then that’s perfectly fine. But the actual act of sleeping side-by-side all night long is for Mom and Dad only. I believe this also sends a message to babies and kids. It says: “Mom and Dad are one. They are untied. They do life together, sleep together, eat together, laugh together, talk together, and they are one flesh.”
Now, if you choose to co-sleep, I won't judge that decision because as I've mentioned previously, I don't judge others on decisions that are not of eternal value (i.e. your salvation doesn't depend on whether or not you co-sleep!) But I would like to encourage parents to understand that, even once a baby is born into a family, your spouse remains your top priority, second only to God. This means that couples need to be committed to some time spent together without baby.
Recent Addition: *My mentor, an amazing woman of God, shared with me last night at our meeting that many Christian counsellors agree that married couples should spend 12-15 hours of uninterrupted time together PER week, talking and reconnecting - no TV, no kids, no distractions. To pull this off with a new baby, or kids of any age for that matter, Moms and Dads are going to have to commit to 1 hour per night of just grown up time, and perhaps several hours on the weekend when it can just be them. Personally, I find this to be SO important in sustaining the bond within a marriage. I know couples that wait months before they have any time apart from baby at all, and I must say, this does not line up with the priorities set before Christian women in scripture, which are: God FIRST, Husband SECOND, Children THIRD. I know it'll be hard to leave baby at Nana's for the first time while Justin and I go out on a date alone, but it's an investment in our marriage and in the end, it's really going to benefit our family as a whole.
Recent Addition: *My mentor, an amazing woman of God, shared with me last night at our meeting that many Christian counsellors agree that married couples should spend 12-15 hours of uninterrupted time together PER week, talking and reconnecting - no TV, no kids, no distractions. To pull this off with a new baby, or kids of any age for that matter, Moms and Dads are going to have to commit to 1 hour per night of just grown up time, and perhaps several hours on the weekend when it can just be them. Personally, I find this to be SO important in sustaining the bond within a marriage. I know couples that wait months before they have any time apart from baby at all, and I must say, this does not line up with the priorities set before Christian women in scripture, which are: God FIRST, Husband SECOND, Children THIRD. I know it'll be hard to leave baby at Nana's for the first time while Justin and I go out on a date alone, but it's an investment in our marriage and in the end, it's really going to benefit our family as a whole.
Grace and Peace,
Alannah
Friday, 10 January 2014
Things Above
Today I am thinking a lot about the Father heart of God. Pretty soon, I’ll have a child of my own and I will understand more of what this side of God’s heart looks like, what it feels like, what it grieves like and what makes it rejoice. That’s the amazing thing about human relationships – they allow us to understand God better.
One thing I am more than sure about is that the Father heart of God has a love for His people beyond measure. His patience with us is undeserved, His blessings to us are pure kindness and His plans for us will bring glory to His name. I am humbled to the core when I think about His great grace. The grace that sought me out and pulled me to Himself. I was dead in my sins, yet the Father sent His only son to die for me so that I might have life (Romans 5:8). What a staggering fact! What a humbling realization! Oh, how He loves me. How he loves us!
During this time in my life, I am trying my very best not to get caught up in the worldly things associated with pregnancy. I hear mothers talk about certain issues like breastfeeding, cloth diapering and homeschooling like they are life or death issues. Well I have news for you: they aren’t! In fact, the only life or death issue is whether or not your child grows up to serve the living God. And no amount of homeschooling or cloth diapering will help with that. What will help is if we, as mothers, model for our children what a godly life looks like. From their earliest days, they should remember us praying for them, serving in the church, loving our husbands and caring for the brethren. Of course there are day-to-day decisions that we as parents have to make for our children, and that’s totally good and okay, but we can’t let ourselves be consumed by these small issues. They are merely physical! Fleeting, like our lives here on this earth.
If we are looking to Mama Natural, Oprah, Dr. Sears or anyone else for wisdom on how to parent our children before looking to God, then we are making them the god in our life. This is something we as Christian parents need to avoid at all cost. Instead, we FIRST need to open our Bibles, get on our knees and pray to the living God for the wisdom we need to raise our children in the ways of the Lord. Anything short of that would be idolatry.
In closing, I want to leave you with Colossians 3:2: Set your mind on the things that are above, not on the things that are upon the earth. I encourage you to mediate on this verse today and realize the implications it might have in your own life. I know for me it means keeping my eyes on the cross and continuing to find my identity in Christ alone. I don’t want to be known as the fit mom, the crunchy mom or the working mom, because those things don’t define me.What defines me is my eternal nationality: Christ Follower. Therefore, I want others to see me as the God-fearing, Bible-believing, Christ-following mom who makes all her decision for her children first before the throne of my King.
Grace and Peace,
Alannah
One thing I am more than sure about is that the Father heart of God has a love for His people beyond measure. His patience with us is undeserved, His blessings to us are pure kindness and His plans for us will bring glory to His name. I am humbled to the core when I think about His great grace. The grace that sought me out and pulled me to Himself. I was dead in my sins, yet the Father sent His only son to die for me so that I might have life (Romans 5:8). What a staggering fact! What a humbling realization! Oh, how He loves me. How he loves us!
During this time in my life, I am trying my very best not to get caught up in the worldly things associated with pregnancy. I hear mothers talk about certain issues like breastfeeding, cloth diapering and homeschooling like they are life or death issues. Well I have news for you: they aren’t! In fact, the only life or death issue is whether or not your child grows up to serve the living God. And no amount of homeschooling or cloth diapering will help with that. What will help is if we, as mothers, model for our children what a godly life looks like. From their earliest days, they should remember us praying for them, serving in the church, loving our husbands and caring for the brethren. Of course there are day-to-day decisions that we as parents have to make for our children, and that’s totally good and okay, but we can’t let ourselves be consumed by these small issues. They are merely physical! Fleeting, like our lives here on this earth.
If we are looking to Mama Natural, Oprah, Dr. Sears or anyone else for wisdom on how to parent our children before looking to God, then we are making them the god in our life. This is something we as Christian parents need to avoid at all cost. Instead, we FIRST need to open our Bibles, get on our knees and pray to the living God for the wisdom we need to raise our children in the ways of the Lord. Anything short of that would be idolatry.
In closing, I want to leave you with Colossians 3:2: Set your mind on the things that are above, not on the things that are upon the earth. I encourage you to mediate on this verse today and realize the implications it might have in your own life. I know for me it means keeping my eyes on the cross and continuing to find my identity in Christ alone. I don’t want to be known as the fit mom, the crunchy mom or the working mom, because those things don’t define me.What defines me is my eternal nationality: Christ Follower. Therefore, I want others to see me as the God-fearing, Bible-believing, Christ-following mom who makes all her decision for her children first before the throne of my King.
Grace and Peace,
Alannah
Tuesday, 7 January 2014
My Pregnancy Workout Routine
Exercising during pregnancy has huge benefits (as I have advocated for previously) and as hard as it might be to fight through the morning sickness\feeling like a whale and head to the gym… it’s worth it in the end!
Because the point of this blog is to document things I have thought, felt and done throughout this pregnancy, I would like to share my current workout routine with you so I can remember it in the future. Since hitting week 10, my workouts have changed slightly. I am no longer going to the gym five times per week as I was pre-pregnancy, now I am going three times per week. My reason for this is because my body needs extra time to heal between each workout. I don’t want to strain my body any more than it needs to be strained. I am also incorporating more yoga into my workouts to prepare my body for when I get bigger and for labor\delivery. So on any given week, my three workouts usually look something like this:
Workout 1
Because the point of this blog is to document things I have thought, felt and done throughout this pregnancy, I would like to share my current workout routine with you so I can remember it in the future. Since hitting week 10, my workouts have changed slightly. I am no longer going to the gym five times per week as I was pre-pregnancy, now I am going three times per week. My reason for this is because my body needs extra time to heal between each workout. I don’t want to strain my body any more than it needs to be strained. I am also incorporating more yoga into my workouts to prepare my body for when I get bigger and for labor\delivery. So on any given week, my three workouts usually look something like this:
Workout 1
30 minutes of cardio – Usually I will do either cycling or running. I used to be REALLY into Hiit (high intensity interval training) workouts with lots of burpees, push ups, Russian twists, jumping jacks, est., but I have laid off of this for now because I wouldn’t personally consider that a pregnancy-safe workout. But that’s just me… if you want/can do it safely… go for it!
15-20 minutes of weights – I am still lifting as heavy as I was pre-pregnancy (woohoo!) Not sure if this will need to change in the future, but so far, so good! I am paying special attention to my back because I know pregnancy will increase the strain on it.
15 minutes of Abs\Stretching – This usually consists of planks, squats, roll ups, light twists, leg extensions, est. I don’t really do sit ups anymore because it puts pressure on my uterus and I just don’t like how it feels. Also, my midwife told me that doing ab workouts while pregnant is almost like working against yourself because in pregnancy you want your ab muscles to stretch not tighten, and ab exercises make you tighten up.
Workout 2
15-20 minutes of weights – I am still lifting as heavy as I was pre-pregnancy (woohoo!) Not sure if this will need to change in the future, but so far, so good! I am paying special attention to my back because I know pregnancy will increase the strain on it.
15 minutes of Abs\Stretching – This usually consists of planks, squats, roll ups, light twists, leg extensions, est. I don’t really do sit ups anymore because it puts pressure on my uterus and I just don’t like how it feels. Also, my midwife told me that doing ab workouts while pregnant is almost like working against yourself because in pregnancy you want your ab muscles to stretch not tighten, and ab exercises make you tighten up.
Workout 2
15 minutes of weights – With a special focus on the legs!
45 minutes to 1 hour of low impact workout – This could be yoga or swimming. It’s crazy how much I dislike these workouts though – mainly because they are so different from the high intensity workouts I usually do. Don’t get me wrong, I usually leave the yoga studio sweating up a storm (it really strengthens your whole body and my muscles hurt afterwards – I love it!), but it’s still not burpees and push ups (which are a few of my all time favourite things!) In short, it’s the slowing down that has been hard for me, but I know that it’s good for mommy and baby, so hopefully I will learn to love it. It will also help me get back to fit post-baby, so that’s a huge benefit!
Here are some reasons yoga is good for all the mama’s out there: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/09/prenatal-yoga_n_3038138.html
Workout 3
This one looks a lot like Workout 1, but I change the type of cardio I do. Results are improved by muscle confusion. Gotta keep my body guessing!
Side note: I also get an additional 50 minutes of cardio per week because I walk to work (10 min per day, 5 days per week). I literally have to hurdle jump over the snow drifts, and I have come to really enjoy it! It’s an easy way to get almost an full additional hour of cardio in my week!
Weigh In
If you’re curious, I have gained exactly 5 pounds so far in this pregnancy. I think I look like I've gained more, but that’s just my uterus sticking out and playing tricks! I hope that by keeping the rest of my body (arms, legs, back, butt, est.) in great shape I'll have an easier time getting back to my post-baby body.
45 minutes to 1 hour of low impact workout – This could be yoga or swimming. It’s crazy how much I dislike these workouts though – mainly because they are so different from the high intensity workouts I usually do. Don’t get me wrong, I usually leave the yoga studio sweating up a storm (it really strengthens your whole body and my muscles hurt afterwards – I love it!), but it’s still not burpees and push ups (which are a few of my all time favourite things!) In short, it’s the slowing down that has been hard for me, but I know that it’s good for mommy and baby, so hopefully I will learn to love it. It will also help me get back to fit post-baby, so that’s a huge benefit!
Here are some reasons yoga is good for all the mama’s out there: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/09/prenatal-yoga_n_3038138.html
Workout 3
This one looks a lot like Workout 1, but I change the type of cardio I do. Results are improved by muscle confusion. Gotta keep my body guessing!
Side note: I also get an additional 50 minutes of cardio per week because I walk to work (10 min per day, 5 days per week). I literally have to hurdle jump over the snow drifts, and I have come to really enjoy it! It’s an easy way to get almost an full additional hour of cardio in my week!
Weigh In
If you’re curious, I have gained exactly 5 pounds so far in this pregnancy. I think I look like I've gained more, but that’s just my uterus sticking out and playing tricks! I hope that by keeping the rest of my body (arms, legs, back, butt, est.) in great shape I'll have an easier time getting back to my post-baby body.
In total, I hope to gain an additional 20 more pounds over the course of this pregnancy. That would be ideal for my height and pre-baby weight. Here's hoping this plan plays out... I know it'll be hard work, so please keep me in your prayers. This isn't about vanity, it's about health!
Grace and peace,
Alannah
Monday, 6 January 2014
Baby Bump Progress: Weeks 6, 10 and 14!
6 weeks
Sort of miss that flat tummy... oh, well! Baby's gotta grow!
10 weeks
And grow...
14 weeks
And... GROW! Wow. Hello Baby, where did you come from? I think I am showing a little early... here are some of my suspected reasons for that:
- I am short... very little torso space
- I am (was once) small and fit
- Genetics. Thanks Mom!
A Change of Heart
For me, having a baby wasn’t something that was on my urgent list of ‘to dos’. I thought that eventually we’d have a kid, (maybe two) but I wasn’t in a rush. We got married so young (he was 19, I was 20) and I am only 24… we still have lots of time! So when Justin asked me last August (shortly after we purchased our first home) when we were actually going to get serious about this kid thing, I was a little annoyed.
“Kids,” I said, “who has time for kids!? We both work like crazy… there is no time to stop and have kids!” Being the loving and patient man that Justin is, he left the subject for a few weeks to pray about it more. When September rolled around, he brought up the subject again, but this time, with far more conviction. The conversation went something like this:
Justin: “Alannah, I have been praying about it a lot. I really think that God wants us to put our trust in Him and try for a child. I know it seems overwhelming, but as the leader of our home, I think that’s what He wants…. Not to mention we both have great jobs and a new home. I think it’s time!”
Me: “Are you kidding?! You can’t just spring this on me. What about what I think? God hasn’t said anything to me about this issue…”
And just as I was about to go on rambling about all the reasons NOT to have a child, I took a second to be silent and quickly say a prayer. And in that moment I heard, beyond a shadow of a doubt, His voice, a still small voice saying: “trust in me”. You may think I’m crazy, but I truly believe this voice to be the voice of God telling me to trust Him and move forward with what my husband was proposing.
In that very moment, it was like the floodgates were opened and my mind totally changed on the subject. In an instant and I had a deep and urgent desire to not only submit to my husband, but to submit to the next calling God had on my life… to be a mother. I have never had an experience like that. Usually I am a planner. I make lists like nobody’s business and get all the facts before making a decision. I never just jump in to something without serious thought and consideration… but here I was, Mrs. Always-Plays-It-Safe taking a big leap of faith into the arms of my Father, trusting that He’d bring us a new life when the time was right.
Ezekiel 36:26 says: “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.” To me, this verse really depicts what God did to me in that moment. My heart of stone was set on waiting until I was ready for a baby. Until I had done all I wanted to do before the inconvenience of child came into the mix. I gave no thought to Justin’s feeling and I am ashamed to say that I hardly sought God on the issue… I think I was afraid to. But through it all, God got a hold of my head and heart and aligned them with His calling and His Word. I am so grateful He did.
I love how God uses people and situations in our lives to grow us in our faith. It’s pretty cool. I have a whole new view on my life and my calling and it’s really exciting how God has been working in my heart. Another thing I love is how God’s timing is different for everyone. It took 4 years for God to direct us to have children, but for some couple’s it takes less time, and as long as the couple can provide financially for the child (without relying on the government\family) then who is anyone to say what God’s plan is for their life?
Anyway, thought I’d share that with you. God is good – all the time!
Grace and peace,
Alannah
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