Tuesday, July 15, 2014 at 6:35 p.m.: the day our lives changed forever. The day Roman Marc Oliver finally made his long awaited arrival after 41 weeks and 1 day of pregnancy.
After such a long pregnancy, and so many false labor alarms, Justin and I were both feeing discouraged when week 41 hit. So, to take our minds off of things we decided to go visit Justin’s parents.
I remember being at their place and sitting on the couch thinking “I feel weird”. For no reason whatsoever I wanted to rush home, so we did. As we left for home, I believe I told Justin that “something doesn’t feel right”. But because I was sick of being disappointed, I put the idea of pending labor out of my mind completely. “Maybe I was getting sick”, I thought. My induction date had been set for Thursday, July 17, and I was completely prepared to have that day as the day I would meet my baby.
When we walked into our house I quickly ran to the bathroom (typical for such a heavily pregnancy woman), but as I finished up I realized I was bleeding. At that point I realized I’d lost my plug, but I didn’t want to get too excited, I brushed it off as nothing (FYI: some women lose their plug weeks and weeks before they deliver). I did call the midwife to let her know (I was 41 weeks after all and any bleeding, if not properly identified, could be very bad) and after that Justin and I settled into watch some TV.
It was around 9:30 p.m. and we were watching an episode of America’s Funniest Home Videos (we love that show!). Justin was folding laundry and I was resting on the couch. Suddenly, and out of nowhere, I started to feel some contractions. If anyone is wondering, a contraction feels like a really bad menstrual cramp that comes in a big wave, starting off slow and increasing in intensity (at least that was my experience).
While I had been having false labor for a few weeks, these contractions were noticeably stronger and far more regular than anything I’d experienced before. Right away, Justin and I decided to call it a night… just in case this was the real deal we wanted to be well rested.
We got into bed and the contractions continued. Justin began timing them and they were about seven minutes apart… not really anything to get too excited about, but as time passed, the contractions got closer together, but still irregular. Some were four minutes apart while others were about six. Finally I couldn’t take it anymore. It got too painful! I had to get up and get in the shower. Justin called the midwife and she agreed to come over and check me to see if I was dilated. At that point, I was sure I was.
In the shower, I rocked, paced and prayed through each contraction. I turned on worship music nice and loud and got into “the labor zone”. Contractions were about four minutes apart at that point and coming on pretty regularly. My mom, sister and doula were also called and put on standby in case things progressed.
After about half an hour my midwife showed up and my contractions continued. I got out of the shower (which really sucked because I was so comfortable in there) and she checked me for dilatation. Nothing. That’s right. Nothing! My cervix was short and very soft, but not dilated. I was beyond discouraged as the midwife mentioned the possibility that this might just be another false alarm. I think deep in my heart I knew it wasn’t though. She recommended that, just case this was in fact real, we all try and get some sleep.
My mom and my sister came over and slept downstairs. I think they were hoping just as bad as we were that this was the real thing. And even though we weren’t sure if it was at that point, I’m so glad that they decided to stay because all through the night (from about 11 p.m. to 7 a.m.) I was having regular and very painful contractions. I remember my mom and sister spelling Justin off and taking turns lying with me in bed. There are many sweet moments that I recall during that time if you can believe it, including holding my sisters had while I fell asleep, praying with my husband and feeling my mom rub my back as I went through yet another painful contraction.
Even though my contractions were pretty strong and steady, I somehow managed to get a few minutes of sleep between each. Not real sleep, but I rested pretty well all things considered. I remember to breath through each contraction slow and strong. This actually really helped, and I also developed my own little groan, which helped regulate my breathing and relax my body. We learned in our Bradley class that labor will progress if you relax, so that became my mantra – just relax and let it happen. One contraction at a time. I am so glad Justin and I invested in the 12 weeks Bradley Birthing Class because, even though I’d never experienced labor before, I felt well prepared for it.
At about 6:30 a.m. my sister climbed into bed with me. I remember feeling a very strong wave of contraction coming on so I sat up in bed and swung my feet to the ground. As I did I felt a huge gush of water fall from me. My water had broken! I quickly checked to make sure I hadn’t just peed myself, but it became evident that this wasn’t the case. When I realized that the water was tinted green, I knew 100% that Roman had indeed pooped inside of me (thanks little buddy!).
Contrary to what some people might think, a baby pooping in utero is not necessarily an emergency situation. Babies poop in the womb for one of two reasons: they are big and overdue or they are in distress (this is when it gets dangerous). The midwife checked Roman’s heart rate and he wasn’t in distress, he was just ready to come out! Regardless, even though it wasn’t an emergency, this meant that I’d have to deliver Roman in the Hospital. Something that I was thankfully prepared for; our bags were already packed and ready to go!
If you’ve followed my blog at all over the past nine months, you’ll know that I made a promise to God and myself that I wouldn’t hold on too tightly to anything. If I got to have a homebirth, then great, if not, than that’s great too.
So off to the Hospital we went!
I was admitted into the Labor and Delivery department at about 8 a.m. My midwife once again checked me for dilatation and I was ONLY 2 cm dilated. It was unbelievable! I wasn’t even considered to be in active labor! I was once again totally and utterly discouraged.
Realizing that things in the department were getting busier, my midwife decided to try and push my cervix open to 4 cm (this is what they consider to be active labor). This hurt like crazy (you have no idea…), but praise God it worked! I was officially in active labor and was able to get my own labor room right away.
By this time my contractions were about two or three minutes apart and steady. In the labor room was my midwife, doula, husband, sister and mom. I want to take a minute to say how comfortable the labor rooms are at OSMH! There are flat screen TVs (not that we used that), a couch, rocking chair, private bathroom and shower and a nice bed.
I sat and rocked in a rocking chair through each contraction rather than lying in the bed. In fact, I spent a good part of my labor taking on each contraction while rocking back and forth, holding hands with one or more of my support team. This is a good time to mention that I had mad back labor, and let me tell you – it’s not fun! I barley felt any contracting in the front of me as it was all concentrated in the back. I did a few pelvic tilts to try and get Roman to move into a better position, but nothing worked! It was intense and it was painful. I couldn’t do anything but deal with it and ride through each contraction by relaxing and breathing as best I could.
It’s really true what people say, a laboring woman really gets into a zone where nothing else matters. My eyes were closed most of the time and I was in survival mode.
For the next 10 and a half hours, Justin (supported by my mom, midwife, sister and doula) coached me through the hard process of labor. My doula and Justin helped me in and out of the shower a few times, spraying my back with the shower head to try and relive the intense back labor I was experiencing. The shower seemed to pacify things, but it never eased it totally.
A few hours into my labor at the Hospital, I received a small shot of morphine to help me sleep between contractions. It didn’t ease the pain, but it did help with the relaxation between contractions. My midwife recommended it since I really hadn’t slept since Sunday night at that point. The morphine lasted approximately two hours and then it was gone. I was once again completely drug free.
A few more hours into things and my midwife wanted to check me again to see how far I’d dilated. Getting checked while having a contraction really HURTS! But it was worth it when I heard her say, “alright Alannah, you are 10 cm dilated!” The only problem was the phase that followed: “only you have a small cervical lip so we need to get rid of that and once we do you can push that baby out!”
For those that don’t know, a cervical lip is when your cervix doesn’t evenly dilate, meaning there the cervix has a small part blocking the baby from coming out. We tried everything to try get this lip to go away, but nothing was working and tensions were rising and I was still in immense pain. The midwife said the lip was small and pliable, meaning there was potential to push the lip over the baby’s head to get him free. She tried this several times (OUCH!), but it didn’t work.
Finally, my midwife had no other choice than to transfer care to the doctors at the hospital so they could give me an epidural (something I preferred not to get) so I could get some rest and hopefully make time for the lip to recede on it’s own. Worst case scenario, I’d have to have a c section and this honestly terrified me, but I tried to stay calm through the pain and stress.
My support team was getting worried too, though they didn’t let on to it. They gently encouraged me and tried to keep me drinking my coconut water and juice to keep my energy up. But it was getting tense and everyone knew it. My mom sent out a text to my aunt who works at our church asking her to get people to pray that the lip would go away.
They made the call to the doctor to come in and administer the epidural. I was crushed and still reeling in pain. Things got worse when I was told that he was in surgery and that it would be more than an hour before he could get me the epidural, meaning I’d have to continue laboring in vain. The worst part was that my body was telling me to push! I had the strongest urge to push Roman out, but was told to try and hold back so as to not make the lip bigger. I remember throwing my head back in agony trying to fight what nature was telling me to do. It was the hardest part of the labor so far.
About 15 minutes after my care was transferred to the doctors, a nurse came into my room. My midwife let her know the situation and she calmly asked if she could try pushing the lip back. I almost declined because I didn’t want to go through that again, but thankfully agreed. Within about three tries of pushing the cervix back… SHE DID IT! THE LIP WAS OUT OF THE WAY! CARE WAS TRAFERED BACK TO MY MIDWIFE, THE EDPIDURAL AND DOCTOR WERE CANCELLED AND MY MIDWIFE SAID, “PUSH THAT BABY OUT OF YOU!”
Side note: while Roman was not in distress throughout my labor, it was still necessary to have a respiratory therapist on standby in case he inhaled his poop and needed to have it suctioned out of his lungs. If he was silent upon delivery he would need to get passed off to be suctioned, but if he cried upon delivery, he would be put on my chest for me to kiss and hug and love all over. We were obviously hoping for the latter of the two, but it was impossible to tell what would happen until the time came…
I 100% believe that the prayers of my church family are what allowed the nurse to push my lip back. Even through the pain I was in complete and utter disbelief and happiness – I was going to get what I wanted, I was going to get to deliver my baby without an epidural or c section!
I lied on my side, one leg on the bed, one held by my mom (how cool is that, she was so involved!), Justin and my doula each holding a hand, and my sister at the end of the bed crouched down at eye level watching the whole thing. I remember everyone cheering me on, yelling “KEEP GOING! KEEP GOING! WE SEE HIS HEAD, ROMAN’S HEAD. HE HAS HAIR!” I also remember Julianne saying that his head looked like an avocado… (haha) not sure if that happened or if I imagined it.
This portion of the birth story seems almost comical to me, though it was by far the most painful. I was yelling some pretty funny things like: “I’m going to rip in half!” and “MOMMY!” My midwife asked me if I wanted a mirror to see his head crowning and, in the moment, I was appalled by this question and screamed “ EWWWW NOOOO!” Someone also grabbed my hand as he was crowing and put it on his head so I could feel it. To this I remember also freaking out and yelling “NOO STOPPP!”
As I was pushing, I remember thinking to myself, “it’s just like an intense workout… you keep going. You want to stop, but you keep going because you want results. Keep pushing through. Go! Go!” And I did.
At 6:35 p.m., I gave two solid pushes. One which partially delivered his head, and the second to deliver the whole rest of him! The relief I felt with that last push was amazing. And to top it all off… my baby cried… no, SCREAMED, upon delivery and he was placed on my chest to hug, kiss and love all over. No need for us to be separated, no need for the suction. Praise God!
I remember seeing him for the first time and the first thing I said to him was, “ROMAN! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.” Followed by “YOU LOOK LIKE JOSIE” (Josie is my niece).
Justin cut the cord and the three of us kissed, snuggled, cried and in that beautiful moment, Justin prayed over our 9 lbs 7 oz baby Roman.
The whole ordeal still seems so surreal to me. And while it was by far the most painful thing I’ve ever experience, it was also the most beautiful. In the moments of darkness and pain, I learned to lean into my Heavenly Father more and more, and depend on my husband for support and coaching. I also learned that my mom and sister are by far the most amazing women in the world, not leaving my side until Roman was in my arms. My doula’s sweet compassionate spirit and gentle encouragement was invaluable, and my midwife’s skill and patience was essential to this safe and healthy birth.
God has defiantly used this experience to grow me as a person. I learned that sometimes pain is necessary for progress. My body was pushed to the limit and there was nothing I could do by rely on Him. I praise God that things ended the way they did and they He decided to bless me with the labor and delivery I’d hoped for. I take no credit for anything… if I learned one thing through all this it’s that I am weak but my Lord is strong. A mighty fortress is my God.
In the words of my Nana, the beautiful Karen Storey, “Our awesome God answers prayers. I love Him.”
Tuesday, 22 July 2014
Wednesday, 23 April 2014
Post-Pregnancy Plan: I can do it... WE can do it!
Here we are, almost 30 weeks pregnant. Roman could literally come safely and healthily in another 7 weeks (although I think it’ll be another 9 weeks… just a hunch, I could be wrong!) This pregnancy is really just flying by! While I still have a good amount of time left, I can’t help but let my mind wander to the post-partum period. What will it look like? How will I feel? Is it going to take me the full 6 weeks to recover, or will my recovery be a speedy one? Regardless of any of this, one thing is for sure: I am going to get RIGHT back into my pre-pregnancy workout routines as soon as it is safe and I am able.
For the record, I don’t think I need a “get-back-in-shape” post partum plan because I really don’t think I am out of shape right now! I am pregnant AND in shape (yes, that’s a thing!) and it’s bound to look different than not being pregnant and being in shape (duh!) But I still hold to the fact that I am pregnant and I am in shape. However, regardless of this, I do need a plan to get back to my pre-pregnancy size. I can’t just wing it and hope for the best, and while breastfeeding may help tighten and tone my uterus, there are TONS of other places on a woman’s body that need toning up after pregnancy (arms, legs, butt, thighs, abs… list could go on.)
So granted all goes well and baby and I are both healthy (prayers for that appreciated, because I know there are no guarantees!), here is an outline for my “get-back-to-my-pre-pregnancy-size-post-pregnancy” plan!
Eat clean starting ALWAYS… but especially now
Side note: eating “clean” just means “consuming food in its most natural state, or as close to it as possible. It is not a diet; it's a lifestyle approach to food and its preparation.” So for me it personally means eating lots of vegetables, eggs, fruits, nuts and lean meats.
I believe in eating clean ALWAYS! I don’t believe pregnancy is the time to “eat for two”, as anyone who has read my blog before knows. Pregnancy ACUTALLY is the time to eat better than even before because the little life inside of you needs good, whole foods to grow and thrive. But regardless, eating clean has and will never be more important to me than in these last 10 weeks of pregnancy and in my post-partum period. Why? Because:
1) My post-partum attitude and recovery will go a lot smoother if my body is well nourished.
2) Most women tend to gain a lot of weight in the last 10 weeks or so of pregnancy.
3) Because I want Roman to have the BEST start at life (I don’t understand these women who want an all-natural pregnancy\childbirth and want to breastfeed their kids but eat fast food two or three times a week and consider themselves justified… that fast food is a drug to your baby JUST like an epidural would be! So it’s counterproductive! Rant over.)
4) Because I want to lose the baby weight in a healthy way, fast!
5) Increased and nutrient-rich breast milk for little man.
Side note: I don’t want my pre-pregnancy body back because of vanity… I want it back because, for me, it’s what healthy looks and feels like. I want energy and stamina, and I want to take care of the vessel God has given me, as well as be an inspiration and good example to my son. Looking good is just an added bonus.
Since I won’t be able to get back into a workout routine for about 6 weeks after having Roman, I know that my best plan of action for getting my pre-pregnancy body back is to eat the best I can. While I feel like I’ve been eating pretty clean this whole pregnancy, I am going to really push this to the limit post-baby. By that I mean that I plan to meal plan as much and as best I can to ensure that NO unhealthy leaks get through the cracks. I am looking to my sister as an example of this because she is literally the QUEEN of CLEAN eating (thanks, Ju!) The prospect of all this planning (and eating!) excites me – I love to cook, I love to eat, I love to plan and I am ACTUALLY going to have the time to do so as a stay-at-home-mom! I am super psyched that I just got a Costco card and to ensure that I stay on track even in the weeks after Roman is born, I plan to prep a lot of healthy, whole meals in advance – meals that are balanced and clean, but that I can just pop into the oven after a long day.
Ease back into my “old” workouts
Obviously we've already established that I can’t go full out “back to normal” in the first few weeks post-partum, but I want to motivate myself to get there as fast as I can. Eating clean will help, but so will time and the continuation of some light walking and yoga. You know, things that are gentle on my body, and will help promote fast healing and even a little toning.
Once I get to the point where my midwife says “I’m good to go”, I plan to rely on the help of my husband to get my back into my pre-pregnancy workouts. Justin and I used to LOVE high intensity interval training (something you can’t really do during pregnancy… at least not to the extent that you do pre-pregnancy) so having him there to coach me along and motivate me will be so beneficial. He can watch my form, keep me laughing and be my cheerleader while I get back into the swing of things, because I’m sure I’ll need it at that point (HIIT is so effective, but NOT easy!) Lastly, I am relying on my typical “Alannah over-achiever self” to just do it and get back to one of the things I love most in the world – fitness!
I don’t want to make it sound like I haven’t been working out throughout this pregnancy, because I certainly have been, but there is no doubt that your body slows down a little while pregnant (big surprise there… yah, not really.) Instead of running like I used to, I walk on an incline. Instead of lifting heavy with lots of reps, I lift medium-heavy with low reps. Instead of getting in that extra 15 min of HIIT, I take time really stretch it out and squat. Instead of going to the gym 4 -5 times a week, I go 2 - 3 times a week, depending on energy level and comfort. In short, pregnancy should not cause you to stop working out all together (unless because of extenuating medical circumstances, of course), but it will definitely change the way you work out.
Show myself and my new post-partum body appreciation, patience and kindness
It really bothers me when I hear women say how much they are longing for their pre-pregnancy body. Why do you have to long for it? Tons of women have made it a reality by just working hard and staying focused! So, rather than pine for the past, why not motivate yourself to get back what you once had in the future? You CAN do it! I mean...your body just GREW another human for goodness sake! You literally delivered a child into this world, but you can't get rid of a little left-over baby weight? In the words or Dwight K. Schrute: FALSE. You CAN get back to pre-pregnancy size and you can make healthy a lifestyle! It wont' necessarily be easy, but neither was having and recovering from that c-section or passing a watermelon-sized baby through your va-jay, but you DID it, didn't you!? Exactly. You can do it. We can do it! But keep a few things in mind: it's normal and OK for your body to look and feel different than before (at least for a short period of time) and you should be proud to have made it through such a long journey. This doesn't mean you don’t work towards a goal, but it does mean that you show yourself the patience and kindness necessary for your body to heal properly. No negative Nancy-ing around or criticizing the beautiful body pregnancy has created. We just need to keep focused and sure enough, we WILL get to where we want to be, sooner or later! Not for reasons of vanity... but for reasons of health, healing and wholeness.
For the record, I don’t think I need a “get-back-in-shape” post partum plan because I really don’t think I am out of shape right now! I am pregnant AND in shape (yes, that’s a thing!) and it’s bound to look different than not being pregnant and being in shape (duh!) But I still hold to the fact that I am pregnant and I am in shape. However, regardless of this, I do need a plan to get back to my pre-pregnancy size. I can’t just wing it and hope for the best, and while breastfeeding may help tighten and tone my uterus, there are TONS of other places on a woman’s body that need toning up after pregnancy (arms, legs, butt, thighs, abs… list could go on.)
So granted all goes well and baby and I are both healthy (prayers for that appreciated, because I know there are no guarantees!), here is an outline for my “get-back-to-my-pre-pregnancy-size-post-pregnancy” plan!
Eat clean starting ALWAYS… but especially now
Side note: eating “clean” just means “consuming food in its most natural state, or as close to it as possible. It is not a diet; it's a lifestyle approach to food and its preparation.” So for me it personally means eating lots of vegetables, eggs, fruits, nuts and lean meats.
I believe in eating clean ALWAYS! I don’t believe pregnancy is the time to “eat for two”, as anyone who has read my blog before knows. Pregnancy ACUTALLY is the time to eat better than even before because the little life inside of you needs good, whole foods to grow and thrive. But regardless, eating clean has and will never be more important to me than in these last 10 weeks of pregnancy and in my post-partum period. Why? Because:
1) My post-partum attitude and recovery will go a lot smoother if my body is well nourished.
2) Most women tend to gain a lot of weight in the last 10 weeks or so of pregnancy.
3) Because I want Roman to have the BEST start at life (I don’t understand these women who want an all-natural pregnancy\childbirth and want to breastfeed their kids but eat fast food two or three times a week and consider themselves justified… that fast food is a drug to your baby JUST like an epidural would be! So it’s counterproductive! Rant over.)
4) Because I want to lose the baby weight in a healthy way, fast!
5) Increased and nutrient-rich breast milk for little man.
Side note: I don’t want my pre-pregnancy body back because of vanity… I want it back because, for me, it’s what healthy looks and feels like. I want energy and stamina, and I want to take care of the vessel God has given me, as well as be an inspiration and good example to my son. Looking good is just an added bonus.
Since I won’t be able to get back into a workout routine for about 6 weeks after having Roman, I know that my best plan of action for getting my pre-pregnancy body back is to eat the best I can. While I feel like I’ve been eating pretty clean this whole pregnancy, I am going to really push this to the limit post-baby. By that I mean that I plan to meal plan as much and as best I can to ensure that NO unhealthy leaks get through the cracks. I am looking to my sister as an example of this because she is literally the QUEEN of CLEAN eating (thanks, Ju!) The prospect of all this planning (and eating!) excites me – I love to cook, I love to eat, I love to plan and I am ACTUALLY going to have the time to do so as a stay-at-home-mom! I am super psyched that I just got a Costco card and to ensure that I stay on track even in the weeks after Roman is born, I plan to prep a lot of healthy, whole meals in advance – meals that are balanced and clean, but that I can just pop into the oven after a long day.
Ease back into my “old” workouts
Obviously we've already established that I can’t go full out “back to normal” in the first few weeks post-partum, but I want to motivate myself to get there as fast as I can. Eating clean will help, but so will time and the continuation of some light walking and yoga. You know, things that are gentle on my body, and will help promote fast healing and even a little toning.
Once I get to the point where my midwife says “I’m good to go”, I plan to rely on the help of my husband to get my back into my pre-pregnancy workouts. Justin and I used to LOVE high intensity interval training (something you can’t really do during pregnancy… at least not to the extent that you do pre-pregnancy) so having him there to coach me along and motivate me will be so beneficial. He can watch my form, keep me laughing and be my cheerleader while I get back into the swing of things, because I’m sure I’ll need it at that point (HIIT is so effective, but NOT easy!) Lastly, I am relying on my typical “Alannah over-achiever self” to just do it and get back to one of the things I love most in the world – fitness!
I don’t want to make it sound like I haven’t been working out throughout this pregnancy, because I certainly have been, but there is no doubt that your body slows down a little while pregnant (big surprise there… yah, not really.) Instead of running like I used to, I walk on an incline. Instead of lifting heavy with lots of reps, I lift medium-heavy with low reps. Instead of getting in that extra 15 min of HIIT, I take time really stretch it out and squat. Instead of going to the gym 4 -5 times a week, I go 2 - 3 times a week, depending on energy level and comfort. In short, pregnancy should not cause you to stop working out all together (unless because of extenuating medical circumstances, of course), but it will definitely change the way you work out.
Show myself and my new post-partum body appreciation, patience and kindness
It really bothers me when I hear women say how much they are longing for their pre-pregnancy body. Why do you have to long for it? Tons of women have made it a reality by just working hard and staying focused! So, rather than pine for the past, why not motivate yourself to get back what you once had in the future? You CAN do it! I mean...your body just GREW another human for goodness sake! You literally delivered a child into this world, but you can't get rid of a little left-over baby weight? In the words or Dwight K. Schrute: FALSE. You CAN get back to pre-pregnancy size and you can make healthy a lifestyle! It wont' necessarily be easy, but neither was having and recovering from that c-section or passing a watermelon-sized baby through your va-jay, but you DID it, didn't you!? Exactly. You can do it. We can do it! But keep a few things in mind: it's normal and OK for your body to look and feel different than before (at least for a short period of time) and you should be proud to have made it through such a long journey. This doesn't mean you don’t work towards a goal, but it does mean that you show yourself the patience and kindness necessary for your body to heal properly. No negative Nancy-ing around or criticizing the beautiful body pregnancy has created. We just need to keep focused and sure enough, we WILL get to where we want to be, sooner or later! Not for reasons of vanity... but for reasons of health, healing and wholeness.
I believe in US, women, because never before in my life have I ever realized more the strength and stamina God has given to women. We are co-creators of life with God and that takes more than just a pretty face.
Grace and peace,
Alannah
The below shows my journey from pre-pregnancy to during pregnancy, and I gotta say, I feel pretty great about both photos. No shame here, just gratitude and thanks to God for allowing me to carry Roman... what a joy and privilege. I want to celebrate both stages of life! It's really a miracle!
During Pregnancy
Pre-Pregnancy
Tuesday, 1 April 2014
A Worker at Home: Practical Applications for being a Proverbs 31 Woman
The issue of women working in and/or outside of the home is up for some serious debate. Most pastors or church leaders agree that if I family can afford responsibly for a woman to stay at home full time, then she should do so. But my own pastor has said from the pulpit that this society is (for the most part) a double income society. If you and your spouse find a way to squeak by anyway, great! But if not, then a working woman you will be.
Regardless of your stance on this issue, Titus 2 does say that older women are to teach the younger women to be “workers at home”. This doesn’t necessarily mean that they have to be stay-at-home mothers and wives their whole entire lives, but that they should be homeward in their orientation. Meaning their main ministry should be at home, towards their husbands and children.
Since the feminist movement of the 70s, a woman who is a worker at home (meaning she takes on the primary roles and responsibilities of the home, like cooking and cleaning) has been dubbed by society oppressed. And while the world may scoff at this calling, the Bible upholds it in the most respectable of places. A woman who manages her home is a woman worthy of praise (see the Proverbs 31 woman!) This job is not something to be looked down on.
Personally, I have been thinking a lot more about this issue since I will be a stay-at-home mother and wife for a full year starting in June.
Side note: Now don’t get me wrong – I have been working and striving to be homeward in my orientation even while having a full time job, and let me tell you: IT IS EXHAUSTING. My crock pot is my best friend and provides many a meal for our family and everyday after work I spend at least and hour to two hours cleaning or doing something related to house work. Sometimes it’s 9 p.m. before I get to sit down and relax. While I don’t want to get into comparisons here, because everyone’s journey of life is tough at time, the life of a full time working woman is just unnaturally hard (God intended the man to be the worker outside the home and the woman to be the worker inside… no one person was expected the do both.) Unlike a stay-at-home woman, a working woman doesn’t get to pour herself into her home. A working woman has to carefully plan her time and maximize it so nothing (not home, family or work) suffers. I’m NOT saying that a stay-at-home woman’s job isn’t hard too, but a working woman has to do ALL the things a stay-at-home woman does, and on top of that, she spends 8 hrs a day working outside her home. My mentor is a stay-at-home wife and mom and she always asks me “how do you do it?” And honestly, I just tell her “by God’s grace.”
With that said, while I am a stay-at-home wife and mom next year, I want to be prepared (even better than I am now) to best use and maximize my time at home. I don’t want to be lazy or slothful or have to ask Justin for help when I am instructed in scripture to be the household caretaker. After a full day of working, coming home and cooking and cleaning is the last thing he will want to do (many of you working women can vouch for this because we do it everyday!)
In thinking and praying about this, I have come up with a few things NOT TO DO on the road to becoming the home-oriented woman God has called me to be. I am blessed to have a great mentor that has helped me think through each of these things and come up with practical ways that I can plan to be a Proverbs 31 woman.
THINGS NOT TO DO
1) Don’t wake up at noon
Side note: now I understand that with a newborn, this might be tricky if their schedule is up all night, sleep all day, but I am talking in the long run here, when the baby is a little older with a more steady sleep schedule.
The Proverbs 31 woman got up while it was still night (verse 15) just to make food for her family! That woman was a straight up champ if you ask me. Yes, sleep is a valuable thing, but it’s something that a Proverbs 31 woman may have to sacrifice for the good of her family.
Practical Application: in my mind, the goal would be to get up at the same time as your husband, make him breakfast and pack his lunch while he gets his morning devotions in, pray with him before he leaves and see him off to work. My mom (okay… just get used to this reference because I’ll be using it a lot in this post!) did an awesome job of this while we were kids. I remember her standing at the door in her housecoat with coffee in hand waving goodbye to my dad as he drove off to work. Think of how happy a husband would be to have his wife lovingly see him off each morning in this way. He knows that she is in control of the household while he is away and he can leave in peace knowing things are in her capable hands (Prov 31 vs 11).
2) Don’t get side tracked
I can only imagine how tempting it would be to just flick on the TV and get lost in some good bad TV marathon all day. But on the contrary, if you read the full description of a Proverbs 31 woman, no where does it say that she remained idol for any lengthy period of time (in verse 27 it actually says she avoided idleness all together! Once again, the woman is a champ!) All the things that she is being praised for are things related to her bettering her house and family. Granted the Proverbs 31 woman didn’t have TV back in her day, but I’m sure she has something equally distracting that she had to avoid to ensure she didn’t get side tracked.
Practical Application: Plan ahead (this is a running theme!) Make a list of things that need to get done through out the week and fill your day with bettering your home and family. Make “spring cleaning” a regular thing in your home (i.e. get the little jobs done just as regularly as you do the large jobs) and spend time with your kids doing crafts, exercises and other important developmental things. Once again, this is something my mom was GREAT at. She would always have a craft or some other fun thing that stimulated our development for us to do. Sometimes she would sit and do the craft with us, while other times she would leave us to enjoy while she prepared our lunch or dinner.
Side note: Now even working people get regular breaks, so it’s totally alright to incorporate those into your day. My mom would set aside an hour or so for her to relax. Sometimes she would fold laundry while watching TV while we napped, or (on her very tired days, I assume) I remember us watching a Disney movie together and relaxing for an hour or so. But you better believe that the minute that movie finished, she was up starting another task.
3) Don’t expect your husband to come home and do your job
No, your husband should not be the one cooking dinner, and no, your husband should not be the one folding laundry. Those things should be done and out of the way by the time your hubby gets in the door. As a stay-at-home wife these jobs are YOURS for completion. Even if your husband is a better cook than you (which is an excuse that some women use), it’s still your job to do have a meal prepared for him at the end of each day. It just is!
I have observed far too many women who stay at home, yet share the burden of the house with their husband. This is not wise and it’s not what the Proverbs 31 women did.
4) Don’t be scared of making an income
While not everyone has the means to do so, women who can run a small business while still staying home should totally do so! The Proverbs 31 woman did a great job of this. She made money and then she made investments with that money (verse 16) – she was clearly wise financially, and so should we strive to be!
Practical Application: my mom used to run a daycare out of her house. The helped my dad with the bills and was a huge blessing to my family over all. If you plan on staying home indefinitely, I highly suggest modelling yourself after the Proverbs 31 woman and looking into making some sort of income if you can.
5) Don’t stay in the house all the time
Being a worker at home doesn't mean that you stay home all the time. The Proverbs 31 woman “extended her hands to the poor” (verse 20), and in my mind, this means that she served and volunteered outside the home on a regular basis. This is also a very important part of fulfilling the Great Commission Jesus gave us, when he said to “go into the world”.
Practical Application: your church is probably the place you will want to serve/volunteer your time, so get involved and do what you can. Don’t take on too much though; remember that a woman’s main ministry is at home with her husband and children.
Regardless of your stance on this issue, Titus 2 does say that older women are to teach the younger women to be “workers at home”. This doesn’t necessarily mean that they have to be stay-at-home mothers and wives their whole entire lives, but that they should be homeward in their orientation. Meaning their main ministry should be at home, towards their husbands and children.
Since the feminist movement of the 70s, a woman who is a worker at home (meaning she takes on the primary roles and responsibilities of the home, like cooking and cleaning) has been dubbed by society oppressed. And while the world may scoff at this calling, the Bible upholds it in the most respectable of places. A woman who manages her home is a woman worthy of praise (see the Proverbs 31 woman!) This job is not something to be looked down on.
Personally, I have been thinking a lot more about this issue since I will be a stay-at-home mother and wife for a full year starting in June.
Side note: Now don’t get me wrong – I have been working and striving to be homeward in my orientation even while having a full time job, and let me tell you: IT IS EXHAUSTING. My crock pot is my best friend and provides many a meal for our family and everyday after work I spend at least and hour to two hours cleaning or doing something related to house work. Sometimes it’s 9 p.m. before I get to sit down and relax. While I don’t want to get into comparisons here, because everyone’s journey of life is tough at time, the life of a full time working woman is just unnaturally hard (God intended the man to be the worker outside the home and the woman to be the worker inside… no one person was expected the do both.) Unlike a stay-at-home woman, a working woman doesn’t get to pour herself into her home. A working woman has to carefully plan her time and maximize it so nothing (not home, family or work) suffers. I’m NOT saying that a stay-at-home woman’s job isn’t hard too, but a working woman has to do ALL the things a stay-at-home woman does, and on top of that, she spends 8 hrs a day working outside her home. My mentor is a stay-at-home wife and mom and she always asks me “how do you do it?” And honestly, I just tell her “by God’s grace.”
With that said, while I am a stay-at-home wife and mom next year, I want to be prepared (even better than I am now) to best use and maximize my time at home. I don’t want to be lazy or slothful or have to ask Justin for help when I am instructed in scripture to be the household caretaker. After a full day of working, coming home and cooking and cleaning is the last thing he will want to do (many of you working women can vouch for this because we do it everyday!)
In thinking and praying about this, I have come up with a few things NOT TO DO on the road to becoming the home-oriented woman God has called me to be. I am blessed to have a great mentor that has helped me think through each of these things and come up with practical ways that I can plan to be a Proverbs 31 woman.
THINGS NOT TO DO
1) Don’t wake up at noon
Side note: now I understand that with a newborn, this might be tricky if their schedule is up all night, sleep all day, but I am talking in the long run here, when the baby is a little older with a more steady sleep schedule.
The Proverbs 31 woman got up while it was still night (verse 15) just to make food for her family! That woman was a straight up champ if you ask me. Yes, sleep is a valuable thing, but it’s something that a Proverbs 31 woman may have to sacrifice for the good of her family.
Practical Application: in my mind, the goal would be to get up at the same time as your husband, make him breakfast and pack his lunch while he gets his morning devotions in, pray with him before he leaves and see him off to work. My mom (okay… just get used to this reference because I’ll be using it a lot in this post!) did an awesome job of this while we were kids. I remember her standing at the door in her housecoat with coffee in hand waving goodbye to my dad as he drove off to work. Think of how happy a husband would be to have his wife lovingly see him off each morning in this way. He knows that she is in control of the household while he is away and he can leave in peace knowing things are in her capable hands (Prov 31 vs 11).
2) Don’t get side tracked
I can only imagine how tempting it would be to just flick on the TV and get lost in some good bad TV marathon all day. But on the contrary, if you read the full description of a Proverbs 31 woman, no where does it say that she remained idol for any lengthy period of time (in verse 27 it actually says she avoided idleness all together! Once again, the woman is a champ!) All the things that she is being praised for are things related to her bettering her house and family. Granted the Proverbs 31 woman didn’t have TV back in her day, but I’m sure she has something equally distracting that she had to avoid to ensure she didn’t get side tracked.
Practical Application: Plan ahead (this is a running theme!) Make a list of things that need to get done through out the week and fill your day with bettering your home and family. Make “spring cleaning” a regular thing in your home (i.e. get the little jobs done just as regularly as you do the large jobs) and spend time with your kids doing crafts, exercises and other important developmental things. Once again, this is something my mom was GREAT at. She would always have a craft or some other fun thing that stimulated our development for us to do. Sometimes she would sit and do the craft with us, while other times she would leave us to enjoy while she prepared our lunch or dinner.
Side note: Now even working people get regular breaks, so it’s totally alright to incorporate those into your day. My mom would set aside an hour or so for her to relax. Sometimes she would fold laundry while watching TV while we napped, or (on her very tired days, I assume) I remember us watching a Disney movie together and relaxing for an hour or so. But you better believe that the minute that movie finished, she was up starting another task.
3) Don’t expect your husband to come home and do your job
No, your husband should not be the one cooking dinner, and no, your husband should not be the one folding laundry. Those things should be done and out of the way by the time your hubby gets in the door. As a stay-at-home wife these jobs are YOURS for completion. Even if your husband is a better cook than you (which is an excuse that some women use), it’s still your job to do have a meal prepared for him at the end of each day. It just is!
I have observed far too many women who stay at home, yet share the burden of the house with their husband. This is not wise and it’s not what the Proverbs 31 women did.
4) Don’t be scared of making an income
While not everyone has the means to do so, women who can run a small business while still staying home should totally do so! The Proverbs 31 woman did a great job of this. She made money and then she made investments with that money (verse 16) – she was clearly wise financially, and so should we strive to be!
Practical Application: my mom used to run a daycare out of her house. The helped my dad with the bills and was a huge blessing to my family over all. If you plan on staying home indefinitely, I highly suggest modelling yourself after the Proverbs 31 woman and looking into making some sort of income if you can.
5) Don’t stay in the house all the time
Being a worker at home doesn't mean that you stay home all the time. The Proverbs 31 woman “extended her hands to the poor” (verse 20), and in my mind, this means that she served and volunteered outside the home on a regular basis. This is also a very important part of fulfilling the Great Commission Jesus gave us, when he said to “go into the world”.
Practical Application: your church is probably the place you will want to serve/volunteer your time, so get involved and do what you can. Don’t take on too much though; remember that a woman’s main ministry is at home with her husband and children.
Tuesday, 18 March 2014
6 Month Reality Check: Things to Remember!
Can we just talk about how crazy it is that I am 6 months pregnant? I mean, where the heck did the past 6 months go? They just flew by. It doesn't even feel that long ago that Justin and I started even considering having a baby, and now here we are, 6 months later and all systems are go! I have really loved every minute of this journey so far – it hasn't all be perfect, but it’s been a blessing.
As I step into the final 3 months of this pregnancy I want to remind myself of a few key things; things that I think I will need to hear when I am 8.5-9 months pregnant, super huge and super exhausted. So here we go!
Dear Future Alannah, please remember:
1) Take it one day at a time – with everything!
A recent occurrence (colostrum… since week 18) has made it clear that I will likely have the option to breast feed if I choose to. As long as I am comfortable and pain-free doing so, I’m going to give it a go. This has changed since early pregnancy because I literally thought that I’d have no option but to not breast feed (mainly due to pain), but it’s amazing what pregnancy does to a woman’s body (primarily her breasts!). Without going into too much detail, it seems that my breasts have become far less sensitive then they once were. Also, the development of colostrum proves that I will be able to produce milk; the question will just be, “how much will I be able to produce”? Regardless of how much (could be a little, could be a freezer full), I want to remind myself to take it ONE day at a time. One step at a time. I hear it’s going to hurt regardless the first few weeks, so I just need to remind myself that an adjustment period is needed. And if for some reason it doesn’t work out, well – you all know how I roll – no sweat. Formula it is – and I’ll be happy and fulfilled all the way.
2) Children are a blessing!
This is obvious, but I assume I’ll need to remind myself of this the closer and closer I get to my due date. I assume things get progressively harder as the end nears. So, remember, future Alannah, children are a blessing – and Roman is worth all the pain and discomfort you are going through right now. So just keep pushing through – the pay off will be well worth it!
3) Treat yourself and don’t push yourself too hard
Anyone that knows me knows that I am a pusher. I push myself to workout, eat healthy, keep active, work hard, est. I am very disciplined. But I think closer to the end of my pregnancy I’ll need to remind myself that it’s okay to slow down! Maybe I’ll want to skip a workout because I’m exhausted, or maybe I’ll want that chocolate bar that I have been denying myself for months on end! Nothing over indulgent or life changing, but you know, a few little treats can’t hurt, right?
Bottom line: I want to continue to be good to my body and keep it healthy, but I also want my body to be comfortable and treated to some extra “luxuries” during the hardest phase of my pregnancy. I think I’ll deserve it at that point.
4) Don’t sweat the small stuff
If the curtains I buy for the nursery don’t exactly match the crib bedding, I need to just chill out and accept it. I know most people wouldn’t care to begin with, but most people aren’t me and I have a tendency to pursue perfection to the point of exhaustion (sinful, I know… working on it!). I need to just take a breath and forget about it… Roman and everyone else won’t sweat the small stuff, so I shouldn’t either! I should just be happy I have a roof over my head and a healthy baby on the way.
5) I can trust God, my body, my husband and my health care team
This one is number one (even though in sequence it's listed as number five!)
Okay… good talk!
As I step into the final 3 months of this pregnancy I want to remind myself of a few key things; things that I think I will need to hear when I am 8.5-9 months pregnant, super huge and super exhausted. So here we go!
Dear Future Alannah, please remember:
1) Take it one day at a time – with everything!
A recent occurrence (colostrum… since week 18) has made it clear that I will likely have the option to breast feed if I choose to. As long as I am comfortable and pain-free doing so, I’m going to give it a go. This has changed since early pregnancy because I literally thought that I’d have no option but to not breast feed (mainly due to pain), but it’s amazing what pregnancy does to a woman’s body (primarily her breasts!). Without going into too much detail, it seems that my breasts have become far less sensitive then they once were. Also, the development of colostrum proves that I will be able to produce milk; the question will just be, “how much will I be able to produce”? Regardless of how much (could be a little, could be a freezer full), I want to remind myself to take it ONE day at a time. One step at a time. I hear it’s going to hurt regardless the first few weeks, so I just need to remind myself that an adjustment period is needed. And if for some reason it doesn’t work out, well – you all know how I roll – no sweat. Formula it is – and I’ll be happy and fulfilled all the way.
Side note: no one KNOWS for sure if they can or cannot nurse. So, if you are fully banking on it, you should really give your head a shake and have a plan B, just in case!
But breast feeding isn't the only area where I wish to remind myself to take it one day a time. There are tones of times where I’ll need to remember this: like during the night when he is waking up like clockwork, or when I am in recovery and I am in pain. The list is probably endless, but it’ll all work out. It’ll all work out.
But breast feeding isn't the only area where I wish to remind myself to take it one day a time. There are tones of times where I’ll need to remember this: like during the night when he is waking up like clockwork, or when I am in recovery and I am in pain. The list is probably endless, but it’ll all work out. It’ll all work out.
2) Children are a blessing!
This is obvious, but I assume I’ll need to remind myself of this the closer and closer I get to my due date. I assume things get progressively harder as the end nears. So, remember, future Alannah, children are a blessing – and Roman is worth all the pain and discomfort you are going through right now. So just keep pushing through – the pay off will be well worth it!
3) Treat yourself and don’t push yourself too hard
Anyone that knows me knows that I am a pusher. I push myself to workout, eat healthy, keep active, work hard, est. I am very disciplined. But I think closer to the end of my pregnancy I’ll need to remind myself that it’s okay to slow down! Maybe I’ll want to skip a workout because I’m exhausted, or maybe I’ll want that chocolate bar that I have been denying myself for months on end! Nothing over indulgent or life changing, but you know, a few little treats can’t hurt, right?
Bottom line: I want to continue to be good to my body and keep it healthy, but I also want my body to be comfortable and treated to some extra “luxuries” during the hardest phase of my pregnancy. I think I’ll deserve it at that point.
4) Don’t sweat the small stuff
If the curtains I buy for the nursery don’t exactly match the crib bedding, I need to just chill out and accept it. I know most people wouldn’t care to begin with, but most people aren’t me and I have a tendency to pursue perfection to the point of exhaustion (sinful, I know… working on it!). I need to just take a breath and forget about it… Roman and everyone else won’t sweat the small stuff, so I shouldn’t either! I should just be happy I have a roof over my head and a healthy baby on the way.
5) I can trust God, my body, my husband and my health care team
This one is number one (even though in sequence it's listed as number five!)
Even in the midst of pain, God is in control. He has created my body to bear children and I don’t need to fear. I will just ride each wave of pain or discomfort knowing that Jesus will eventually calm the storm.
I can also trust Justin to be there for me. He is committed to playing an active role in the birth of Roman and, while other men may not be as prepared, I need to trust that he is. That’s why we are taking a 12-week Bradley birthing class! So that I can trust Justin to keep me calm, comfortable and relaxed all throughout the birth. My doula (also my birth class instructor) made it very clear when I hired her that she would be an assistant to Justin. While other husband not trained in the Bradley method may let the doula take charge, Justin will be well prepared to be the head coach.
Finally, I need to trust my health care team. They know what they are doing – they do this for a living! So, while it may be hard, I need to put the health of myself and Roman in their hands, knowing that God has brought them into my life for a reason.
6) There is nothing wrong with being organized – it’s a good thing and I don’t need to feel guilty!
Type A personalities around the world can vouch for the fact that being organized is a way of life. I am almost 25 weeks pregnant and I already have my crib, dresser, rocker, stroller and crib bedding for Roman. Some people roll their eyes at this, though I am not really sure why. But they have – to my face! Not sure why organization is suddenly considered a bad thing when it comes to preparing for baby? You’d think this is when it’d be most valuable!
The bottom line is: Justin and I hate debt, and we don’t want any part of it – so we buy things as we have the cash for them… or we are gifted things when our parents have the cash for it. In my mind, this is just good financial practice. We will get a lot of the smaller necessities at our baby showers (so thankful for that!), but the bigger ticket items I feel I (or a very generous third party, like a parent) am responsible for obtaining.
And in any case, why would anyone want to wait until week 36 to get their life together? By then you are huge, exhausted and possibly out of money (maybe you've spent it unwisely or on an emergency situation that was unforeseen). Not to mention no one is guaranteed 36 weeks of pregnancy… God forbid your baby is born premature and you have neither the funds nor organization to accommodate him or her. Better safe than sorry, I say.
What am I getting at here? I am getting at the fact that, as I get more and more pregnant the nesting\organizing gene will only intensify in me, and I need to embrace it! I am going to be well prepared for Roman and that is a blessing. It’s one less things to stress about and if I receive some eyes rolls because of it, well, whatever!
Well, there you have it... a list of things to remember. My reality check for when things get crazy. I am sure there will be more I’ll want to add to this list as time goes by, but this is a good start. Just gotta keep pressing on, and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God is in control.
I can also trust Justin to be there for me. He is committed to playing an active role in the birth of Roman and, while other men may not be as prepared, I need to trust that he is. That’s why we are taking a 12-week Bradley birthing class! So that I can trust Justin to keep me calm, comfortable and relaxed all throughout the birth. My doula (also my birth class instructor) made it very clear when I hired her that she would be an assistant to Justin. While other husband not trained in the Bradley method may let the doula take charge, Justin will be well prepared to be the head coach.
Finally, I need to trust my health care team. They know what they are doing – they do this for a living! So, while it may be hard, I need to put the health of myself and Roman in their hands, knowing that God has brought them into my life for a reason.
6) There is nothing wrong with being organized – it’s a good thing and I don’t need to feel guilty!
Type A personalities around the world can vouch for the fact that being organized is a way of life. I am almost 25 weeks pregnant and I already have my crib, dresser, rocker, stroller and crib bedding for Roman. Some people roll their eyes at this, though I am not really sure why. But they have – to my face! Not sure why organization is suddenly considered a bad thing when it comes to preparing for baby? You’d think this is when it’d be most valuable!
The bottom line is: Justin and I hate debt, and we don’t want any part of it – so we buy things as we have the cash for them… or we are gifted things when our parents have the cash for it. In my mind, this is just good financial practice. We will get a lot of the smaller necessities at our baby showers (so thankful for that!), but the bigger ticket items I feel I (or a very generous third party, like a parent) am responsible for obtaining.
And in any case, why would anyone want to wait until week 36 to get their life together? By then you are huge, exhausted and possibly out of money (maybe you've spent it unwisely or on an emergency situation that was unforeseen). Not to mention no one is guaranteed 36 weeks of pregnancy… God forbid your baby is born premature and you have neither the funds nor organization to accommodate him or her. Better safe than sorry, I say.
What am I getting at here? I am getting at the fact that, as I get more and more pregnant the nesting\organizing gene will only intensify in me, and I need to embrace it! I am going to be well prepared for Roman and that is a blessing. It’s one less things to stress about and if I receive some eyes rolls because of it, well, whatever!
Well, there you have it... a list of things to remember. My reality check for when things get crazy. I am sure there will be more I’ll want to add to this list as time goes by, but this is a good start. Just gotta keep pressing on, and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God is in control.
Okay… good talk!
Grace and Peace,
Alannah
Wednesday, 12 March 2014
Oliver Family Core Values
We, the Oliver Family, believe in one Triune God consisting of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. The Father sent his Son to die on the cross for the forgiveness of sin and salvation of the elect. After His death on the cross, we believe that Jesus Christ rose from the dead and ascended to Heaven where He now sits at the right hand of the Father. After His ascension, Jesus sent the Holy Spirit to be a helper to all believers.
We believe that the Bible is the Holy Word of God, and that all scripture is God breathed (2 Timothy 3:16). We believe in the authority of the scriptures and are committed to doing regular family devotions, as well as personal study daily. We will hold one another accountable to this standard and build each other up in our struggles.
We, the parents, Justin and Alannah, believe in a complementarian marriage, where the husband and wife are equal in worth and value, but different in roles. We believe in being absolutely faithful to one another, body, mind and soul, and we are committed to having God as the centre of our marriage.
As the husband, Justin, has the role of the “head” (1 Corinthians 11:3). He should provide for his family (1 Timothy 5:8), love his wife as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25), manage his household well (1 Timothy 3:4), lead and teach his wife and children to be Christ-like, and, with all dignity, teach his children to be submissive (1 Timothy 3:4). It is the calling of the husband to be self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, a teacher, sober-minded, gentle, meek and not a lover of money (1 Timothy 3:2-3).
As the wife, Alannah, has the role of the “helper” (Genesis 2:8); she is equal to her husband, but different. She should seek to dress modestly (1 Peter: 3:3), respect her husband, fear the Lord above her husband (Proverbs 31:30), be reverent in her behaviour (Titus 2:3) and teach what is good to her children (Titus 2:4). She should also be self-controlled, pure and homeward in her orientation (Titus 2:3-4).
We believe children are a blessing from the Lord. Godly children should be submissive to their parents (Ephesians 6:1), be pure and upright in their behaviour (Proverbs 20:11), love the Lord with all their heart, mind, soul and strength (Matthew 22:7) and bear the fruits of the spirit, with their life reflecting the beatitudes (Galatians 5:22-23, Matthew 5:3-12). We believe it is the responsibility of both parents to train up their children in the ways of the Lord (Proverbs 22:8).
As a family, we are committed to tithing 10% of our gross income to the church (Deuteronomy 14:22). We believe in the power and importance of prayer, and we will make all of our decisions prayerfully before the throne of God and in accordance with His Word. We deeply believe that lost people matter to God, and therefore, they matter to us.
Above all, we believe that God is the Head of our home and, as we die to our sinful nature daily, we seek to place Him first in everything we do. We realize that it is only by the grace of God that we are saved and we are humbled to be part of His chosen people.
We believe that the Bible is the Holy Word of God, and that all scripture is God breathed (2 Timothy 3:16). We believe in the authority of the scriptures and are committed to doing regular family devotions, as well as personal study daily. We will hold one another accountable to this standard and build each other up in our struggles.
We, the parents, Justin and Alannah, believe in a complementarian marriage, where the husband and wife are equal in worth and value, but different in roles. We believe in being absolutely faithful to one another, body, mind and soul, and we are committed to having God as the centre of our marriage.
As the husband, Justin, has the role of the “head” (1 Corinthians 11:3). He should provide for his family (1 Timothy 5:8), love his wife as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25), manage his household well (1 Timothy 3:4), lead and teach his wife and children to be Christ-like, and, with all dignity, teach his children to be submissive (1 Timothy 3:4). It is the calling of the husband to be self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, a teacher, sober-minded, gentle, meek and not a lover of money (1 Timothy 3:2-3).
As the wife, Alannah, has the role of the “helper” (Genesis 2:8); she is equal to her husband, but different. She should seek to dress modestly (1 Peter: 3:3), respect her husband, fear the Lord above her husband (Proverbs 31:30), be reverent in her behaviour (Titus 2:3) and teach what is good to her children (Titus 2:4). She should also be self-controlled, pure and homeward in her orientation (Titus 2:3-4).
We believe children are a blessing from the Lord. Godly children should be submissive to their parents (Ephesians 6:1), be pure and upright in their behaviour (Proverbs 20:11), love the Lord with all their heart, mind, soul and strength (Matthew 22:7) and bear the fruits of the spirit, with their life reflecting the beatitudes (Galatians 5:22-23, Matthew 5:3-12). We believe it is the responsibility of both parents to train up their children in the ways of the Lord (Proverbs 22:8).
As a family, we are committed to tithing 10% of our gross income to the church (Deuteronomy 14:22). We believe in the power and importance of prayer, and we will make all of our decisions prayerfully before the throne of God and in accordance with His Word. We deeply believe that lost people matter to God, and therefore, they matter to us.
Above all, we believe that God is the Head of our home and, as we die to our sinful nature daily, we seek to place Him first in everything we do. We realize that it is only by the grace of God that we are saved and we are humbled to be part of His chosen people.
Thursday, 6 March 2014
Romans 9: Assurance of Salvation and Election (Maybe the Most Offensive Theology Ever Written)
It’s been awhile since I last wrote. A lot has been happening, but I haven’t really had the chance to sit down and pen something out.
Today is a little different, however. Today I really just have to put into writing how much I love/fear the Lord. Some mornings I wake up and I feel this overwhelming need to praise God – to get into His Word and hide it in my heart. Sure, I read daily God’s Word, but some days it resonates more than others. Do you know what I mean? Anyway, today is one such day.
This morning I was reading Romans 9 in preparation for my meeting with my mentee next week, and I was literally struck with amazement. Amazed at how God works. Amazed that He chooses and calls His children by name. Amazed that the Lord loves, and that equally so, He hates.
I don’t want to get into a huge debate about the doctrine of election, because it’s an ongoing fight that has two sides, and the members of each side are set in their ways. With that said, I think it’s important for everyone reading this to know (and by my “hit tracker”, there are a fair amount of you) that I am, by definition, a Calvinist. In short, I believe that God has already predestined (Romans 8:29-30; Romans 9; insert the many other verses here) or chosen His children.
Probably the main question people ask when they hear me say this is “how do we know who is chosen and who is not?” I’d like to start off by saying that it not our place to know the answer to this question. In Romans 9:15 God relays through the Apostle Paul that “I [God] will have mercy on whom I have mercy”; He doesn’t give us a direct answer or reason for why He chooses some but not others. This can be a really troubling realization for some because, as Matthew 7 reveals in verses 22 and 23, there will be lots of people who awake in the throne room of God on Judgment Day, shocked to behold that they were never really saved like they thought they were. This is chilling and boarder line depressing, isn’t it? But wait a minute – it doesn’t have to be! There is hope (as there always is with God!), because we can have assurance of salvation through Jesus Christ. That means that our lives (the way we think, act and speak) will demonstrate our salvation in a few very important ways (these are the indicators of a truly saved individual):
The following is a modified teaching of Charles Spurgeon
First, we will not habitually commit sin.
By this I mean that, while we will still sin because we are inherently evil and instinctively sinners, we will not perpetually let sin have dominion over us. Primarily because God gives His chosen ones a hate for sin so that when they do sin, it makes them sick and they want to run from their temptations and repent. In other words, God’s chosen will not participate in what I like to call “lifestyle” sins… (i.e. perpetual fornicating, stealing, lying, cheating, hating, murdering or homosexuality, est.)
I don’t want to give anyone the impression that some sins are worse than others, because that’s not that case (every kind of sin nailed Jesus to the cross), but it’s important to note that some sins are more likely to be perpetual than others.
Backed Up by Living Word
"Whosoever is born of God will not commit sin."—1 John 3:9
"How can we who died to sin still live in it?"—Romans 6:2
Second, we will seek to live a holy life by obeying God's Word.
As I said before, we will not obey God's Word perfectly as long as we still have a sinful nature (and we will always have a sinful nature until we are resurrected on the day of the Lord’s second coming). But those who are truly saved will obey the Word of God day-by-day, earnestly desiring to do the right thing. We will work at our salvation with fear and trembling (Philippians 2:12), and following the commands of Jesus will be our priority (even above our sinful lusts and desires). In short, we will die to ourselves.
Side note: This also means that we Calvinists will still seek to minister to the lost. Just because God has already elected His people doesn’t mean we give up the call to evangelize – God said to do it, so we will.
Backed Up by Living Word
"If you know that he is righteous, you may be sure that everyone who practices righteousness has been born of him."—1 John 2:29
"And by this we know that we have come to know him, if we keep his commandments."—1 John 2:3
Third, we will love others, regardless of who they are or what they have done.
First off, please note that this does not mean we condone the sin of others (i.e. we aren’t “cool with it” because God’s not cool with it. God hates sin and so should we!) But since God is love He has given His chosen a desire to love others, especially fellow believers. This love may not always come easy to us, but we will seek to do good to others when we have the opportunity.
Backed Up by Living Word
"Everyone that loves is born of God, and knows God. He that loves does not know God; for God is love."—1 John 4:7-8
"We know that we have passed from death unto life, because we love the brethren."—1 John 3:14
Fourth, our affections will not be set upon the things of the world.
It’s okay to enjoy certain things in the world: travelling, friendships, sports, exercise or other hobbies – but the minute your affections for these things trumps your love for Christ (or you begin seeking these things more than you seek God) you are in trouble. As God’s chosen, Christ should be our all in all and we will give generously and hold loosely to the material possessions we have.
Backed Up by Living Word
"If any man loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him."—1 John 2:15
“For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God. You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him.” - Romans 8:5-9
It’s important to note that “these changes are not the cause of our salvation for we are saved by Christ (as our propitiation and as the giver of the gift of perfect righteousness) through faith—even that is not of ourselves but is a gift from God (Eph. 2:8-9). Rather, these changes are the evidence that we truly have been born again. If they are not evident in our life, it is likely we have not savingly believed in Christ. And therefore, it is vital that we diligently read the Bible until we are assured of having saving faith in Him. The Bible says, "So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God" (Rom. 10:17). A good place to start is 1 John and James for they deal extensively with the changes that result from being born again.” (Charles Spurgeon)
I think a true follower of Christ will see the glory in all this that, by the seeming tension of human responsibility and God’s sovereignty, God has elected His children since before the foundation of the earth. That means that when God created the world in Genesis, He had His elect in mind (Ephesians 1:4). He knew what was going to go down in the Garden of Eden and He knew that His Son would have to come and die for their sins. He knew it all. You can’t surprise God! But because He loves His elect, He let it all happen so that sinful man could one day be made right in His sight. This is what gets me, friends. This is what makes me sit in wonder and awe – I can’t believe God, the only God, looks down at us (His chosen) and thinks we are worth it.
It’s so humbling, because we all deserve Hell. It makes everything else in life seem so small and insignificant… probably because it is.
Today is a little different, however. Today I really just have to put into writing how much I love/fear the Lord. Some mornings I wake up and I feel this overwhelming need to praise God – to get into His Word and hide it in my heart. Sure, I read daily God’s Word, but some days it resonates more than others. Do you know what I mean? Anyway, today is one such day.
This morning I was reading Romans 9 in preparation for my meeting with my mentee next week, and I was literally struck with amazement. Amazed at how God works. Amazed that He chooses and calls His children by name. Amazed that the Lord loves, and that equally so, He hates.
I don’t want to get into a huge debate about the doctrine of election, because it’s an ongoing fight that has two sides, and the members of each side are set in their ways. With that said, I think it’s important for everyone reading this to know (and by my “hit tracker”, there are a fair amount of you) that I am, by definition, a Calvinist. In short, I believe that God has already predestined (Romans 8:29-30; Romans 9; insert the many other verses here) or chosen His children.
Probably the main question people ask when they hear me say this is “how do we know who is chosen and who is not?” I’d like to start off by saying that it not our place to know the answer to this question. In Romans 9:15 God relays through the Apostle Paul that “I [God] will have mercy on whom I have mercy”; He doesn’t give us a direct answer or reason for why He chooses some but not others. This can be a really troubling realization for some because, as Matthew 7 reveals in verses 22 and 23, there will be lots of people who awake in the throne room of God on Judgment Day, shocked to behold that they were never really saved like they thought they were. This is chilling and boarder line depressing, isn’t it? But wait a minute – it doesn’t have to be! There is hope (as there always is with God!), because we can have assurance of salvation through Jesus Christ. That means that our lives (the way we think, act and speak) will demonstrate our salvation in a few very important ways (these are the indicators of a truly saved individual):
The following is a modified teaching of Charles Spurgeon
First, we will not habitually commit sin.
By this I mean that, while we will still sin because we are inherently evil and instinctively sinners, we will not perpetually let sin have dominion over us. Primarily because God gives His chosen ones a hate for sin so that when they do sin, it makes them sick and they want to run from their temptations and repent. In other words, God’s chosen will not participate in what I like to call “lifestyle” sins… (i.e. perpetual fornicating, stealing, lying, cheating, hating, murdering or homosexuality, est.)
I don’t want to give anyone the impression that some sins are worse than others, because that’s not that case (every kind of sin nailed Jesus to the cross), but it’s important to note that some sins are more likely to be perpetual than others.
Backed Up by Living Word
"Whosoever is born of God will not commit sin."—1 John 3:9
"How can we who died to sin still live in it?"—Romans 6:2
Second, we will seek to live a holy life by obeying God's Word.
As I said before, we will not obey God's Word perfectly as long as we still have a sinful nature (and we will always have a sinful nature until we are resurrected on the day of the Lord’s second coming). But those who are truly saved will obey the Word of God day-by-day, earnestly desiring to do the right thing. We will work at our salvation with fear and trembling (Philippians 2:12), and following the commands of Jesus will be our priority (even above our sinful lusts and desires). In short, we will die to ourselves.
Side note: This also means that we Calvinists will still seek to minister to the lost. Just because God has already elected His people doesn’t mean we give up the call to evangelize – God said to do it, so we will.
Backed Up by Living Word
"If you know that he is righteous, you may be sure that everyone who practices righteousness has been born of him."—1 John 2:29
"And by this we know that we have come to know him, if we keep his commandments."—1 John 2:3
Third, we will love others, regardless of who they are or what they have done.
First off, please note that this does not mean we condone the sin of others (i.e. we aren’t “cool with it” because God’s not cool with it. God hates sin and so should we!) But since God is love He has given His chosen a desire to love others, especially fellow believers. This love may not always come easy to us, but we will seek to do good to others when we have the opportunity.
Backed Up by Living Word
"Everyone that loves is born of God, and knows God. He that loves does not know God; for God is love."—1 John 4:7-8
"We know that we have passed from death unto life, because we love the brethren."—1 John 3:14
Fourth, our affections will not be set upon the things of the world.
It’s okay to enjoy certain things in the world: travelling, friendships, sports, exercise or other hobbies – but the minute your affections for these things trumps your love for Christ (or you begin seeking these things more than you seek God) you are in trouble. As God’s chosen, Christ should be our all in all and we will give generously and hold loosely to the material possessions we have.
Backed Up by Living Word
"If any man loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him."—1 John 2:15
“For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God. You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him.” - Romans 8:5-9
It’s important to note that “these changes are not the cause of our salvation for we are saved by Christ (as our propitiation and as the giver of the gift of perfect righteousness) through faith—even that is not of ourselves but is a gift from God (Eph. 2:8-9). Rather, these changes are the evidence that we truly have been born again. If they are not evident in our life, it is likely we have not savingly believed in Christ. And therefore, it is vital that we diligently read the Bible until we are assured of having saving faith in Him. The Bible says, "So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God" (Rom. 10:17). A good place to start is 1 John and James for they deal extensively with the changes that result from being born again.” (Charles Spurgeon)
I think a true follower of Christ will see the glory in all this that, by the seeming tension of human responsibility and God’s sovereignty, God has elected His children since before the foundation of the earth. That means that when God created the world in Genesis, He had His elect in mind (Ephesians 1:4). He knew what was going to go down in the Garden of Eden and He knew that His Son would have to come and die for their sins. He knew it all. You can’t surprise God! But because He loves His elect, He let it all happen so that sinful man could one day be made right in His sight. This is what gets me, friends. This is what makes me sit in wonder and awe – I can’t believe God, the only God, looks down at us (His chosen) and thinks we are worth it.
It’s so humbling, because we all deserve Hell. It makes everything else in life seem so small and insignificant… probably because it is.
Wednesday, 26 February 2014
Learning to Trust in the Face of Uncertainty
Pregnancy is amazing. I am really loving it! I think it really “agrees” with me, and for that I am grateful. I don’t know how I’d pull off working full time if this wasn't the case. God has been gracious.
I feel like there is a lot of negative hype around pregnancy though, and while it’s not always sunshine and roses (sometimes it’s snow and ice!), pregnancy offers a woman the chance to learn a lot in just 9 months – and no, I am not talking about cloth diapers and sleeping training. I am talking about trust.
One thing this pregnancy has offered me that I wasn't really expecting is the opportunity to learn to trust more deeply in God. I mean, let’s face it; we really can’t control a whole lot about our pregnancies. We can’t control how our bodies will handle it or how healthy our babies will be. In fact, next to picking a baby name and nursery colours, there isn't a lot left in our hands. And I have found this to be a very good thing; a very scary thing, but very good. Necessary, even.
While this pregnancy has been a relatively easy one (praise God – I pray it continues), it doesn't mean it hasn't come with its fair share of tough times.
Probably the toughest time was last week when we went down to Toronto to have Roman’s echo cardiogram done. While there was a very low chance that anything would be wrong, it was still pretty intimidating.
Side note: my husband, Justin, was born with two holes in his heart – also known as Congenital Heart Disease (CHD). This problem is not genetic – in other words, not hereditary. In fact, no matter who you are, your baby has a 1 – 3 % chance of having a CHD. Our chance of having Roman born with CHD is about the same as anyone else, but to give us peace of mind, my midwife allowed us to go to Toronto for this special ultrasound – just to be 100% all was well.
If you follow me on Facebook you've heard the news: Roman’s heart is perfectly fine (thank you Lord!) and the rest of his body is developing just as well (thank you Lord, again!). But I won’t lie, I have never been more terrified then when I was laying on the table, the doctor examining my 20-week-old baby’s heart.
About 15 min went by and the doctor hadn't said a word to us. It wasn't a great experience, but the cool thing is, while I was lying there waiting for the “verdict”, I was at peace. Sure, my heart was beating a mile a minute, but I was at peace. This is SO rare for me because, by nature, I am a worrier. But after much time, consideration and prayer, I found myself in a place where I’d never been before… a place of calm in the eye of the storm.
I will tell you this, the peace that I had was NOT by my own doing. My human nature wanted to think of all the horrible “worst-case-scenarios”, but the Holy Spirit that lives inside me reminded me that whatever the outcome, it had already passed through the hands of God – for His glory and for my… our… Roman’s… good. And that gave me the peace that the Bible says “surpasses all understanding”.
I am quickly learning that there is no harder thing than to trust God with your children, and although my little bun is still baking away in the oven, it’s crucial I learn to trust God with him now before he is born. By doing so, I will be a better, more godly mother to Roman. I’ll be able rest easy knowing my son’s precious life is in the Lord’s hands, and I can only hope that Roman learns at a young age to trust in God in the same manner.I want my son to know full well the sovereignty of God so he can grasp the amount of trust he can put in his Heavenly Father. I believe this will strengthen his faith, even in the face of uncertainty and trials.
I feel like there is a lot of negative hype around pregnancy though, and while it’s not always sunshine and roses (sometimes it’s snow and ice!), pregnancy offers a woman the chance to learn a lot in just 9 months – and no, I am not talking about cloth diapers and sleeping training. I am talking about trust.
One thing this pregnancy has offered me that I wasn't really expecting is the opportunity to learn to trust more deeply in God. I mean, let’s face it; we really can’t control a whole lot about our pregnancies. We can’t control how our bodies will handle it or how healthy our babies will be. In fact, next to picking a baby name and nursery colours, there isn't a lot left in our hands. And I have found this to be a very good thing; a very scary thing, but very good. Necessary, even.
While this pregnancy has been a relatively easy one (praise God – I pray it continues), it doesn't mean it hasn't come with its fair share of tough times.
Probably the toughest time was last week when we went down to Toronto to have Roman’s echo cardiogram done. While there was a very low chance that anything would be wrong, it was still pretty intimidating.
Side note: my husband, Justin, was born with two holes in his heart – also known as Congenital Heart Disease (CHD). This problem is not genetic – in other words, not hereditary. In fact, no matter who you are, your baby has a 1 – 3 % chance of having a CHD. Our chance of having Roman born with CHD is about the same as anyone else, but to give us peace of mind, my midwife allowed us to go to Toronto for this special ultrasound – just to be 100% all was well.
If you follow me on Facebook you've heard the news: Roman’s heart is perfectly fine (thank you Lord!) and the rest of his body is developing just as well (thank you Lord, again!). But I won’t lie, I have never been more terrified then when I was laying on the table, the doctor examining my 20-week-old baby’s heart.
About 15 min went by and the doctor hadn't said a word to us. It wasn't a great experience, but the cool thing is, while I was lying there waiting for the “verdict”, I was at peace. Sure, my heart was beating a mile a minute, but I was at peace. This is SO rare for me because, by nature, I am a worrier. But after much time, consideration and prayer, I found myself in a place where I’d never been before… a place of calm in the eye of the storm.
I will tell you this, the peace that I had was NOT by my own doing. My human nature wanted to think of all the horrible “worst-case-scenarios”, but the Holy Spirit that lives inside me reminded me that whatever the outcome, it had already passed through the hands of God – for His glory and for my… our… Roman’s… good. And that gave me the peace that the Bible says “surpasses all understanding”.
I can’t control this pregnancy and (news flash for me) I can’t control the rest of my life either. I used to think I could control it all, but I realize now that the pursuit on control shows a lack of trust in God. This doesn't mean that I'm hands off on things completely – I still am called to plan and work towards things accordingly – but it means that when situations are uncertain, I go to God with them. I don’t let it fester inside me until I become a worrying, untrusting mess (which I have been so many times in the past).
I am quickly learning that there is no harder thing than to trust God with your children, and although my little bun is still baking away in the oven, it’s crucial I learn to trust God with him now before he is born. By doing so, I will be a better, more godly mother to Roman. I’ll be able rest easy knowing my son’s precious life is in the Lord’s hands, and I can only hope that Roman learns at a young age to trust in God in the same manner.I want my son to know full well the sovereignty of God so he can grasp the amount of trust he can put in his Heavenly Father. I believe this will strengthen his faith, even in the face of uncertainty and trials.
Grace and Peace,
Alannah
Thursday, 6 February 2014
Romans 6: Victory Over Sin Through Sanctification
My mentee and I agree that Romans 6 has been one of our favourites so far. There is just something about the way Paul describes our victory over sin that is just amazing! Anyway, friends, enjoy!
Main Ideas:
We are no longer under the law, but under grace
We are no longer slaves to sin, but to righteousness
We are dead to sin, but alive in Christ
Sanctification leads to eternal life
Summary:
Up until this point, Paul has dealt primarily with the issue of justification. He has talked extensively about how man can be justified (made right with) God because of the blood of Jesus Christ. In this chapter, however, we see Paul begin to transition to the issue of sanctification. Sanctification is essentially the act of becoming holy or more like Christ, or as we like to call it, changing from one degree of glory to the next. Another critical aspect of sanctification is the ability to resist sin. Sin is not suddenly acceptable because we are under grace; in fact, it’s still utterly detestable and sickening to God (and so should be to us too!) So nothing has changed in that regard. We still need to follow the law, but it’s the grace of God that allows us to pursue sanctification. We couldn’t do it alone. It’s important to note that sanctification is not instantaneous. It’s a process that every believer will undergo through out their walk.
In verse 3-4 Paul talks about how Christians have been baptized with Christ in His death and have been buried in order that we too may rise again and “walk in newness of life”. The term “newness of life” refers to a believer dying to his or her old self (the self that sought the desires of the flesh) and changing into the image and likeness of Jesus. In short, we are dead in sin and alive in God (verse 11) and there is no place for sin among God’s chosen. Possibly the most reassuring verse here is the verse 14, which reads: “sin has no dominion over you, since you are not under the law but under grace!” This means that we are no longer slaves to sin as we were in our previous state. Instead, we are now slaves to righteousness, and this righteousness will helps us in the journey of sanctification, and as we read in verse 22, sanctification leads to eternal life!
Most Christians in today’s society have this all wrong. They think that they can continue on in a cycle of sin-forgivness-sin-forgivness and that God will just oblige. But this is not the case. God demands that His chosen live a life of sanctification. Sure, we will fall time and time again, but our default should be to run from sin and deny themselves for the sake of the cross. For as the final verse in Romans 6 says “the wages of sin is death!”
Discussion Questions:
Do you understand the term sanctification?
What has your journey of sanctification been over the past few months? How are you growing from one degree of glory to the next? What are some areas that need improvement?
Living Word:
Main Ideas:
We are no longer under the law, but under grace
We are no longer slaves to sin, but to righteousness
We are dead to sin, but alive in Christ
Sanctification leads to eternal life
Summary:
Up until this point, Paul has dealt primarily with the issue of justification. He has talked extensively about how man can be justified (made right with) God because of the blood of Jesus Christ. In this chapter, however, we see Paul begin to transition to the issue of sanctification. Sanctification is essentially the act of becoming holy or more like Christ, or as we like to call it, changing from one degree of glory to the next. Another critical aspect of sanctification is the ability to resist sin. Sin is not suddenly acceptable because we are under grace; in fact, it’s still utterly detestable and sickening to God (and so should be to us too!) So nothing has changed in that regard. We still need to follow the law, but it’s the grace of God that allows us to pursue sanctification. We couldn’t do it alone. It’s important to note that sanctification is not instantaneous. It’s a process that every believer will undergo through out their walk.
In verse 3-4 Paul talks about how Christians have been baptized with Christ in His death and have been buried in order that we too may rise again and “walk in newness of life”. The term “newness of life” refers to a believer dying to his or her old self (the self that sought the desires of the flesh) and changing into the image and likeness of Jesus. In short, we are dead in sin and alive in God (verse 11) and there is no place for sin among God’s chosen. Possibly the most reassuring verse here is the verse 14, which reads: “sin has no dominion over you, since you are not under the law but under grace!” This means that we are no longer slaves to sin as we were in our previous state. Instead, we are now slaves to righteousness, and this righteousness will helps us in the journey of sanctification, and as we read in verse 22, sanctification leads to eternal life!
Most Christians in today’s society have this all wrong. They think that they can continue on in a cycle of sin-forgivness-sin-forgivness and that God will just oblige. But this is not the case. God demands that His chosen live a life of sanctification. Sure, we will fall time and time again, but our default should be to run from sin and deny themselves for the sake of the cross. For as the final verse in Romans 6 says “the wages of sin is death!”
Discussion Questions:
Do you understand the term sanctification?
What has your journey of sanctification been over the past few months? How are you growing from one degree of glory to the next? What are some areas that need improvement?
Living Word:
2 Timothy 2:21
2 Corinthians 5:17
Hebrews 13:12
John 17:17
Wednesday, 29 January 2014
It's a Boy!
As you probably already know, Justin and I found out last night that we are having a little boy! His name will be Roman Marc Oliver.
I knew in my heart that I was having a boy. In fact, I have always known I’d have a first born son. When I used to talk about having kids, I would always tell people “I just know the Lord is going to give me a son first.” Don’t ask me why I had this inclination, I just did. Maybe mother’s intuition or maybe God was preparing my heart to love and receive a little man into my life. Whatever the reason I am so truly excited to welcome this little life into the world.
And I’ve always known that he’d be named Roman. I tried to like other boy names, and some of them came pretty close, but something about the name Roman made me melt a little and I knew he’d come to be a real person some day. This is the reason why we have decided to tell everyone Roman’s name now. I feel like with pregnancy comes a lot of secrets (i.e. keeping pregnancy a secret for first trimester, keeping gender a secret, keeping the child’s name a secret), and while I totally understand why some people might want to do this (they might genuinely not know the name of their baby until he/she is born, and that’s totally cool!) for me, I’m just sick of the secrets! I try to keep my life an open book to world, so secrets don’t really fit in. Also, a name gives a person an identity and Justin and I wanted to give our baby that right away. We want people to pray for him by name, talk about him by name and know him by name – that’s just something that’s important to me. (So please, pray for my little bean by name!)
So, why the name Roman? I’ve been asked this quite a few times and it’s a good question. Roman isn’t a very popular name in North America.
I think originally I was really drawn to the manliness of the name Roman. It’s Latin in origin and means “strong and powerful” and when I hear the name Roman, that’s exactly what I think. But above all, I really love how it reflects the book of Romans, a work of the Apostle Paul rich in theological text and one of my favourite books of the Bible. The book of Romans proclaims the glory of the Lord Jesus Christ by teaching doctrine and edifying and encouraging believers. I can only hope and pray that my little Roman will do the same with his life – teach doctrine, edify and encourage fellow believes and ultimately proclaim the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ all the days of his life.
Side note: it’s so ironic that I have been studying the book of Romans over the past few months! This was NOT planned! It’s a total coincidence…funny, eh?!
Anyway, that’s the story of the name Roman.
Even as I type, I can feel him moving inside of me and I am filled with a hundred different emotions: joy, fear, excitement, love, peace, and so much more.
Please keep Justin and me in your prayers as we prepare for the birth of our son, Roman Marc Oliver. Please pray for Roman, that he is born healthy and safe, but above all, that God saves him at an early age. Pray that he becomes and man of integrity – a good husband to whatever woman God blesses him with. It’s not too early to pray for those things! Roman will only be a little boy for a few years and I want prayer to pave the way for a godly life.
Thanks, friends.
Grace and Peace,
Alannah
I knew in my heart that I was having a boy. In fact, I have always known I’d have a first born son. When I used to talk about having kids, I would always tell people “I just know the Lord is going to give me a son first.” Don’t ask me why I had this inclination, I just did. Maybe mother’s intuition or maybe God was preparing my heart to love and receive a little man into my life. Whatever the reason I am so truly excited to welcome this little life into the world.
And I’ve always known that he’d be named Roman. I tried to like other boy names, and some of them came pretty close, but something about the name Roman made me melt a little and I knew he’d come to be a real person some day. This is the reason why we have decided to tell everyone Roman’s name now. I feel like with pregnancy comes a lot of secrets (i.e. keeping pregnancy a secret for first trimester, keeping gender a secret, keeping the child’s name a secret), and while I totally understand why some people might want to do this (they might genuinely not know the name of their baby until he/she is born, and that’s totally cool!) for me, I’m just sick of the secrets! I try to keep my life an open book to world, so secrets don’t really fit in. Also, a name gives a person an identity and Justin and I wanted to give our baby that right away. We want people to pray for him by name, talk about him by name and know him by name – that’s just something that’s important to me. (So please, pray for my little bean by name!)
So, why the name Roman? I’ve been asked this quite a few times and it’s a good question. Roman isn’t a very popular name in North America.
I think originally I was really drawn to the manliness of the name Roman. It’s Latin in origin and means “strong and powerful” and when I hear the name Roman, that’s exactly what I think. But above all, I really love how it reflects the book of Romans, a work of the Apostle Paul rich in theological text and one of my favourite books of the Bible. The book of Romans proclaims the glory of the Lord Jesus Christ by teaching doctrine and edifying and encouraging believers. I can only hope and pray that my little Roman will do the same with his life – teach doctrine, edify and encourage fellow believes and ultimately proclaim the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ all the days of his life.
Side note: it’s so ironic that I have been studying the book of Romans over the past few months! This was NOT planned! It’s a total coincidence…funny, eh?!
Anyway, that’s the story of the name Roman.
Even as I type, I can feel him moving inside of me and I am filled with a hundred different emotions: joy, fear, excitement, love, peace, and so much more.
Please keep Justin and me in your prayers as we prepare for the birth of our son, Roman Marc Oliver. Please pray for Roman, that he is born healthy and safe, but above all, that God saves him at an early age. Pray that he becomes and man of integrity – a good husband to whatever woman God blesses him with. It’s not too early to pray for those things! Roman will only be a little boy for a few years and I want prayer to pave the way for a godly life.
Thanks, friends.
Grace and Peace,
Alannah
Tuesday, 28 January 2014
A Special Note from a Daddy-To-Be
Everyone knows how important Moms are, but sometimes Dads get the short end of the stick. But the truth is, every child needs a positive and Godly male role model in their lives to help them grow and develop into who God has called them to be. Sadly, in today's society, more and more children go to bed each night without a Daddy. This hurts my heart to think about. Dads are SO important!
By no merit of my own, I have been blessed with a man who is super eager and ready to take on the responsibilities of fatherhood. Today, he wrote me a little note reminding me of this.
I love you, Justin. Thanks for being such a good man.
Alannah,
I am so excited about this baby, like seriously I just got a huge surge of Joy.
If it’s a boy I’m going to be dedicated to spending time with him, raising him in the ways of the Lord, teaching him to respect and love his mother and to honor and cherish women and not idolize them. Im’ going to teach him to be watchful, to stand firm in the faith, to act like a man, to be strong and to let everything he does be done in love. I’m going to teach him about dignity but most importantly how to Love the Lord with all his heart, soul, mind and strength.
If it’s a little girl I’m going to be dedicated to Daddy daughter dates, making her feel beautiful, give her encouraging words of affirmation, tell her what to expect in a man and to demonstrate that by example, I will cherish and protect her and teach her that if any boy is to date her he has to date me first. I will teach her that she has value and worth and that her body, her virginity and her life is to be held with high esteem and honor and not to just be thrown away to just anybody. But most importantly I will teach her to be a woman of God, to be Christ like and to teach her to be a Titus 2 and a Proverbs 31 woman.
If it’s a boy I’m going to be dedicated to spending time with him, raising him in the ways of the Lord, teaching him to respect and love his mother and to honor and cherish women and not idolize them. Im’ going to teach him to be watchful, to stand firm in the faith, to act like a man, to be strong and to let everything he does be done in love. I’m going to teach him about dignity but most importantly how to Love the Lord with all his heart, soul, mind and strength.
If it’s a little girl I’m going to be dedicated to Daddy daughter dates, making her feel beautiful, give her encouraging words of affirmation, tell her what to expect in a man and to demonstrate that by example, I will cherish and protect her and teach her that if any boy is to date her he has to date me first. I will teach her that she has value and worth and that her body, her virginity and her life is to be held with high esteem and honor and not to just be thrown away to just anybody. But most importantly I will teach her to be a woman of God, to be Christ like and to teach her to be a Titus 2 and a Proverbs 31 woman.
Love,
Justin
Friday, 24 January 2014
Alannah's Top 10 Pregnancy Cravings
#10 - Tropical Mike and Ikes
These delicious little candies are in fact the ONLY sweet thing I have craved this whole entire pregnancy... no word of a lie! Please note that the green ones are particularly amazing!
#9 - Ketchup
#8 - Rapini and/or Broccoli
#7 - Spicy Noodles
#6 - Bread (any kind)
What's better than fresh baked bread with some butter... or a bagel with cream cheese in the morning? I love it all!
#5 - Sushi
Veggie sushi, that is. *Sigh* I can't wait to get my hands on some of that spicy salmon goodness when this baby is born... that'll be amazing. 'Cuz veggie sushi doesn't really cut it... it's like a tease:(
#4 - Olives and/or Pickles
#3 - Water
#2 - Strawberries
What's not to love?
#1 - Salmon
Thursday, 23 January 2014
Romans 5: Suffering the Sin of Adam, Hope in the Righteousness of Christ
Main Ideas:
We can have peace with God because we have been justified through faith in Christ.
Suffering produces endurance.
The sin of Adam brought condemnation to all of mankind.
The righteous of Christ brings hope to all of mankind.
Summary:
Picture it: you’re seated in front of God the Father on judgment day. It’s time for Him to determine your eternal fate – heaven or hell? All of the world watches and waits as God considers all the deeds you’ve done while on earth. The Prosecutor, Satan, has made a good case against you. He has proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are a sinner. In your earthly life, you sinned every single day – you were and are totally depraved! You most definitely deserve the maximum punishment: eternity in hell. God shakes His head; the evidence against you is too great. And just as He’s about to bang His gavel and make your fate in hell official, Jesus Christ enters the courtroom. He approaches the Father with blood stained hands and feet. He humbly reminds the Father of His blood that was shed, just for you! He willingly takes the punishment in your place. The Father accepts Christ’s act of sacrifice as atonement for your sin, and you go free into heaven, the weight of sin no longer upon your shoulders.
As shown in this analogy, Paul makes it very clear through the book of Romans that the only reason we can approach the Father, the only reason we can spend eternity in heaven, is because of the shed blood of Christ. The term “justified through faith” is used often in this book and simply means that if we truly believe that Christ’s death paid the penalty for our sins, we can be cleansed of all unrighteousness. As we have learned in our study of Romans, this free gift was given to us, we did not seek it out and we did nothing to deserve it. We were simply chosen by the grace of God as one of His elect. This is possibly the most humbling realization of all. This is exactly the reminder given in the first few verses of Romans 5. In the midst of this reminder, Paul also touches on the role that trials play in our lives. They are important because “suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame” (vs. 4-5). These hardships are ordained by God and invaluable for our growth and development. We need them so we can have an unshakable faith in Christ, for it’s that faith that saves us.
The later part of Romans 5 talks about how the sin of Adam condemned us to a life apart of God, but the righteous sacrifice of Christ restored us. If Christ has not laid down His life for us, the wages of our sins would be death (Romans 6:23), but praise God that we can have eternal life if we have faith in His son’s blood.
Discussion Questions:
In the New Covenant we are saved through faith in Jesus’ Christ, what saved people in the Old Covenant?
How has the suffering in your life allowed you to grow in your faith?
Living Word:
About Trials:
Matthew 5:10-12
James 1:12
John 16:33
Job 2:10
About Jesus Saving Us:
1 John 2:2
Romans 6:23
2 Corinthians 5:21
We can have peace with God because we have been justified through faith in Christ.
Suffering produces endurance.
The sin of Adam brought condemnation to all of mankind.
The righteous of Christ brings hope to all of mankind.
Summary:
Picture it: you’re seated in front of God the Father on judgment day. It’s time for Him to determine your eternal fate – heaven or hell? All of the world watches and waits as God considers all the deeds you’ve done while on earth. The Prosecutor, Satan, has made a good case against you. He has proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are a sinner. In your earthly life, you sinned every single day – you were and are totally depraved! You most definitely deserve the maximum punishment: eternity in hell. God shakes His head; the evidence against you is too great. And just as He’s about to bang His gavel and make your fate in hell official, Jesus Christ enters the courtroom. He approaches the Father with blood stained hands and feet. He humbly reminds the Father of His blood that was shed, just for you! He willingly takes the punishment in your place. The Father accepts Christ’s act of sacrifice as atonement for your sin, and you go free into heaven, the weight of sin no longer upon your shoulders.
As shown in this analogy, Paul makes it very clear through the book of Romans that the only reason we can approach the Father, the only reason we can spend eternity in heaven, is because of the shed blood of Christ. The term “justified through faith” is used often in this book and simply means that if we truly believe that Christ’s death paid the penalty for our sins, we can be cleansed of all unrighteousness. As we have learned in our study of Romans, this free gift was given to us, we did not seek it out and we did nothing to deserve it. We were simply chosen by the grace of God as one of His elect. This is possibly the most humbling realization of all. This is exactly the reminder given in the first few verses of Romans 5. In the midst of this reminder, Paul also touches on the role that trials play in our lives. They are important because “suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame” (vs. 4-5). These hardships are ordained by God and invaluable for our growth and development. We need them so we can have an unshakable faith in Christ, for it’s that faith that saves us.
The later part of Romans 5 talks about how the sin of Adam condemned us to a life apart of God, but the righteous sacrifice of Christ restored us. If Christ has not laid down His life for us, the wages of our sins would be death (Romans 6:23), but praise God that we can have eternal life if we have faith in His son’s blood.
Discussion Questions:
In the New Covenant we are saved through faith in Jesus’ Christ, what saved people in the Old Covenant?
How has the suffering in your life allowed you to grow in your faith?
Living Word:
About Trials:
Matthew 5:10-12
James 1:12
John 16:33
Job 2:10
About Jesus Saving Us:
1 John 2:2
Romans 6:23
2 Corinthians 5:21
Friday, 17 January 2014
Romans 4: Faith Like Abraham
Main Ideas:
Abraham is declared righteous through faith.
We are saved by faith, not works.
We have no right to boast.
Summary:
Paul uses Abraham as an example in this text because he was well respected among the Jewish people. While Abraham followed the Lord’s leading in his life, he was ultimately saved by his faith. God told him that he would be the father of many, and although he was old and his wife Sarah was barren, he has full faith that God would do as he promised. It was by this blind faith that Abraham was saved. Because he was saved through faith and not works, Abraham would have no reason or right to boast to man or to God about himself because the grace to carry out any and all good works comes from God alone (i.e. God would get to boast). But even if, by some bizarre turn of events, Abraham could attribute the good works he had done to himself, he STILL would have no right to boast because he is still a sinful man, a man who constantly fell short of the glory of God – as all humans do (Romans 3:23). In short, no one can be justified through works. We are justified through faith in Jesus Christ. The rabbis argued that Abraham kept the law perfectly, even before it was given to him. Obviously this could not be true because last week in Romans 3 study we learn that “no one is righteous” and that “everyone does evil”. We are born evil and we are total depraved, and while Abraham was a godly man, this doesn’t mean that he was exempt from these principles because he was only human. He was not Jesus Christ, who of course was the only sinless man in all of history. The idea of grace stands opposite the principle of works; grace has to do with receiving the freely given gift of God, while works has to do with earning our merit before God. A system of works would put God in our debt. It implies that God owes us our salvation and blessing because of our good works. However, the truth is that it is faith in Jesus Christ alone that saves us. Our good works should flow from a heart of thankfulness to God who freely gave us salvation through the death of His son, though we did not deserve it one little bit! We still need to value good works, but we can’t elevate them to the point where we believe they will save us.
Discussion Questions:
We know good works cannot save us, but is there value in good works?
There is most definitely value in good works! In fact, the Bible says that “faith without works in dead!” (James 2:17) The key here is to remember that all our good works need to steam from a heart of love and submission to God our Father who saved us. We can never boast in the good works we do because it’s God who gives us the grace to carry out these works in a way that is ultimately pleasing to God. Many pagans do good works, but God doesn’t see them as good because they aren’t done to the glory of His name – therefore, they are in vain. This is a huge point of controversy, but the Bible says it to be the truth.
Though Abraham was an imperfect man, he demonstrated great faith in God several times through his life. We need to model this faith in our own lives by trusting in God, even when things seem too hard or impossible. While God may not give us everything we want, He will always give us the things we will need to bring Him glory. This means that even in trials and tribulations we need to know for certain that God is on His throne, He is in control and through the hard times, we will be brought forth as gold (Job 23:10). We may have to suffer here on earth, but the promises He has set before those who love His name WILL one day come to fruition in the Heavenly place. If we set our minds on those things – the things above – then we have demonstrated the faith of Abraham.
Supporting Verses:
Jeremiah 9:23
Ephesians 2:8-9
John 3:16
Galatians 2:16
Galatians 3:5-6
Philippians 3:9
Amen!
Abraham is declared righteous through faith.
We are saved by faith, not works.
We have no right to boast.
Summary:
Paul uses Abraham as an example in this text because he was well respected among the Jewish people. While Abraham followed the Lord’s leading in his life, he was ultimately saved by his faith. God told him that he would be the father of many, and although he was old and his wife Sarah was barren, he has full faith that God would do as he promised. It was by this blind faith that Abraham was saved. Because he was saved through faith and not works, Abraham would have no reason or right to boast to man or to God about himself because the grace to carry out any and all good works comes from God alone (i.e. God would get to boast). But even if, by some bizarre turn of events, Abraham could attribute the good works he had done to himself, he STILL would have no right to boast because he is still a sinful man, a man who constantly fell short of the glory of God – as all humans do (Romans 3:23). In short, no one can be justified through works. We are justified through faith in Jesus Christ. The rabbis argued that Abraham kept the law perfectly, even before it was given to him. Obviously this could not be true because last week in Romans 3 study we learn that “no one is righteous” and that “everyone does evil”. We are born evil and we are total depraved, and while Abraham was a godly man, this doesn’t mean that he was exempt from these principles because he was only human. He was not Jesus Christ, who of course was the only sinless man in all of history. The idea of grace stands opposite the principle of works; grace has to do with receiving the freely given gift of God, while works has to do with earning our merit before God. A system of works would put God in our debt. It implies that God owes us our salvation and blessing because of our good works. However, the truth is that it is faith in Jesus Christ alone that saves us. Our good works should flow from a heart of thankfulness to God who freely gave us salvation through the death of His son, though we did not deserve it one little bit! We still need to value good works, but we can’t elevate them to the point where we believe they will save us.
Discussion Questions:
We know good works cannot save us, but is there value in good works?
There is most definitely value in good works! In fact, the Bible says that “faith without works in dead!” (James 2:17) The key here is to remember that all our good works need to steam from a heart of love and submission to God our Father who saved us. We can never boast in the good works we do because it’s God who gives us the grace to carry out these works in a way that is ultimately pleasing to God. Many pagans do good works, but God doesn’t see them as good because they aren’t done to the glory of His name – therefore, they are in vain. This is a huge point of controversy, but the Bible says it to be the truth.
How can we follow Abraham’s example in our own lives?
Though Abraham was an imperfect man, he demonstrated great faith in God several times through his life. We need to model this faith in our own lives by trusting in God, even when things seem too hard or impossible. While God may not give us everything we want, He will always give us the things we will need to bring Him glory. This means that even in trials and tribulations we need to know for certain that God is on His throne, He is in control and through the hard times, we will be brought forth as gold (Job 23:10). We may have to suffer here on earth, but the promises He has set before those who love His name WILL one day come to fruition in the Heavenly place. If we set our minds on those things – the things above – then we have demonstrated the faith of Abraham.
Supporting Verses:
Jeremiah 9:23
Ephesians 2:8-9
John 3:16
Galatians 2:16
Galatians 3:5-6
Philippians 3:9
Amen!
Romans 3: Totally Depraved
Main Ideas:
God is faithful even when we aren’t.
Both Jews and Gentiles can be saved.
All of mankind is total depravity – there is no one who does good!
No one can boast in themselves.
We are reconciled\justified to God through faith in Christ Jesus as our Lord and Saviour.
Summary:
Paul begins in verse one by addressing the importance of the Jewish religion. Paul saw value in the nation of Israel because of the fact that the Jews were the first nation to observe God’s law, or as verse 2 says “be entrusted with the oracles of God”. However, while some Jews were unfaithful (i.e. rebuking Jesus as the Messiah), Paul was carful to point out that this did not change the faithfulness of God. Paul’s point in the following verses (5-8) shows that the depravity of the world does not impact the goodness of God. Verses 9-18 and 23 show the total depravity of man apart of our Creator. Since no one in righteous, no one can save themselves from sin – only by the grace of God are we saved (24). Verse 20 points out that no human can be saved by works. In the remaining verses (27-32) Paul makes it clear that NO man can boast in their doings, because even the good we do is simply the grace of God working though us. God is not only the God of the Jews, he is the God of those who find their righteous through faith in Christ Jesus (people of any race or ethnicity, or the Bible would call it, the Gentiles). God justifies to Himself those who understand that they are total depraved and in need of a Saviour. Through the death of Christ God can welcome us into Heaven and wipe out our past sins from his mind. Without the blood of Christ, this would not be possible. Therefore, no one can boast in their own goodness, because no one is good.
Discussion Questions:
What does Total Depravity mean?
When we speak of man's depravity we mean man's natural condition apart from God’s grace to restrain himself from doing evil/sinning. But even if a man does decide not to sin (i.e. goes into a store, decides not to steal) and his reason for not doing so is not based on God’s law and grace, then he is still evil in God’s sight since goodness only comes from God.
John Piper says, “There is no doubt that man could perform more evil acts toward his fellow man than he does. But if he is restrained from performing more evil acts by motives that are not owing to his glad submission to God, then even his "virtue" is evil in the sight of God.” (I.e. if a person does something “good”, like not steal at a store, and his reason for not stealing does not flow out of a knowledge and love for God and His grace, then he is still evil in God’s sight because all good comes from faith in Christ Jesus.) The reason for this is told in Romans 14:23, which says, "Whatever does not proceed from faith is sin."
The bottom line is we can’t measure the goodness of a person in relation to other men, because other men are evil. Instead our comparison of good and evil can only come from God. Only God is good, therefore anyone who does not live by God’s grace is not good.
Are there any exceptions? Are all men totally depraved?
Yes. All of mankind is totally depraved. Here are some supporting verses:
Romans 3:9-12
Mark 10:18/Luke 18:19
1 John 1:8,10
Mark 7:21-23
Psalm 5:9
Jeremiah 17:9
Genesis 6:5 & 8:21
What is the punishment we deserve because of our rebellion and total depravity?
Our rebellion is totally deserving of eternal punishment. Total depravity means that our rebellion against God is total, everything we do in this rebellion is sin, our inability to submit to God or reform ourselves is total, and we are therefore totally deserving of eternal punishment.
God is faithful even when we aren’t.
Both Jews and Gentiles can be saved.
All of mankind is total depravity – there is no one who does good!
No one can boast in themselves.
We are reconciled\justified to God through faith in Christ Jesus as our Lord and Saviour.
Summary:
Paul begins in verse one by addressing the importance of the Jewish religion. Paul saw value in the nation of Israel because of the fact that the Jews were the first nation to observe God’s law, or as verse 2 says “be entrusted with the oracles of God”. However, while some Jews were unfaithful (i.e. rebuking Jesus as the Messiah), Paul was carful to point out that this did not change the faithfulness of God. Paul’s point in the following verses (5-8) shows that the depravity of the world does not impact the goodness of God. Verses 9-18 and 23 show the total depravity of man apart of our Creator. Since no one in righteous, no one can save themselves from sin – only by the grace of God are we saved (24). Verse 20 points out that no human can be saved by works. In the remaining verses (27-32) Paul makes it clear that NO man can boast in their doings, because even the good we do is simply the grace of God working though us. God is not only the God of the Jews, he is the God of those who find their righteous through faith in Christ Jesus (people of any race or ethnicity, or the Bible would call it, the Gentiles). God justifies to Himself those who understand that they are total depraved and in need of a Saviour. Through the death of Christ God can welcome us into Heaven and wipe out our past sins from his mind. Without the blood of Christ, this would not be possible. Therefore, no one can boast in their own goodness, because no one is good.
Discussion Questions:
What does Total Depravity mean?
When we speak of man's depravity we mean man's natural condition apart from God’s grace to restrain himself from doing evil/sinning. But even if a man does decide not to sin (i.e. goes into a store, decides not to steal) and his reason for not doing so is not based on God’s law and grace, then he is still evil in God’s sight since goodness only comes from God.
John Piper says, “There is no doubt that man could perform more evil acts toward his fellow man than he does. But if he is restrained from performing more evil acts by motives that are not owing to his glad submission to God, then even his "virtue" is evil in the sight of God.” (I.e. if a person does something “good”, like not steal at a store, and his reason for not stealing does not flow out of a knowledge and love for God and His grace, then he is still evil in God’s sight because all good comes from faith in Christ Jesus.) The reason for this is told in Romans 14:23, which says, "Whatever does not proceed from faith is sin."
The bottom line is we can’t measure the goodness of a person in relation to other men, because other men are evil. Instead our comparison of good and evil can only come from God. Only God is good, therefore anyone who does not live by God’s grace is not good.
Are there any exceptions? Are all men totally depraved?
Yes. All of mankind is totally depraved. Here are some supporting verses:
Romans 3:9-12
Mark 10:18/Luke 18:19
1 John 1:8,10
Mark 7:21-23
Psalm 5:9
Jeremiah 17:9
Genesis 6:5 & 8:21
What is the punishment we deserve because of our rebellion and total depravity?
Our rebellion is totally deserving of eternal punishment. Total depravity means that our rebellion against God is total, everything we do in this rebellion is sin, our inability to submit to God or reform ourselves is total, and we are therefore totally deserving of eternal punishment.
However, the only saving grace comes from God, who loved us so much that “while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)
Amen!
Romans Road
I have the amazing privilege of mentoring a beautiful and amazing woman of God, who has become one of my very best friends over
the past few months. In our meetings together recently, we have been studying
the book of Romans. I LOVE the book of Romans. Its rich theological texts
stretch my knowledge and understanding of the Word of God and I learn so much
through reading, discussing and reviewing its contents.
Each time I meet with my friend for a “mentoring” session
(which I am hesitant to call it because I honestly learn just as much from her
as she does from me!) we go through the book of Romans one chapter at a time
and I prepare a summary to accompany the text. I have decided to start posting
those summaries here because it’s a great way to track what I've written.
I’ll start by posting my Romans 3 and 4 summaries.
I hope
they a do justice to the original text by giving you an even deeper
understanding of his Word and ultimately bring glory to God.
Thanks, friends!
Grace and Peace,
Alannah
Tuesday, 14 January 2014
Let Your Marriage Grow with Baby
Fun fact of the day: Justin and I are not going to co-sleep with our children. And while many couples I know find co-sleeping to be the right thing to do for them, I just can’t justify it in my mind. I don’t think that co-sleeping with your child is unlawful Biblically, but at the same time, I don’t find it helpful to the cause of marriage either.
Besides the obvious physical boundaries that having a baby in bed with you creates, there are other spiritual and emotional issues that arise as well.
Ever since Justin and I got married, our bedroom has been a place for us to just be together, rest up and hang out, and when baby comes, I want it to remain that way. Mom and Dad need a place for just us two to be together, pray, be intimate, talk and relax. Just because a baby comes into the picture DOES NOT give married couples to right to disengage from each other. In fact, in this time more than ever, they need to grow stronger as a couple and connect daily. How can you do that if baby is attached to you day AND night? Truth is, you can’t, and some healthy separation from baby is needed for couples have time to invest in each other.
I’ll be off on MAT leave for one year with Baby Oliver and in my head, I see our nights going something like this (obviously this will be once baby is in a routine, but it’s what we are going to work towards):
1) Dad gets home from work
2) Dad, Mom and Baby chill out, eat dinner, est.
3) Baby falls asleep and is put in crib
4) Mom and Dad have time to hang out, reconnect, pray and just talk about the day
5) Mom and Dad go to bed together, alone – baby wakes up and Mom tends to baby in baby’s room so Dad can rest for work
I understand that this will take some commitment on my end (i.e. I’ll have to get up to feed the baby every night instead of just pulling him\her into bed with me), but I am OK with that. I want our bedroom to be a place for Justin and I to be alone and this means establishing boundaries with our children from the very beginning. Pastor Mark Driscoll and his wife Grace have this very same rule in their home and Mark talks very seriously about its importance. And when I look at a marriage like theirs, I’d be a fool not to heed his wisdom.
Now, I am not heartless. If my sweet Baby Oliver gets a bad dream in the middle of the night and needs to spend a few minutes lying with us, then that’s perfectly fine. But the actual act of sleeping side-by-side all night long is for Mom and Dad only. I believe this also sends a message to babies and kids. It says: “Mom and Dad are one. They are untied. They do life together, sleep together, eat together, laugh together, talk together, and they are one flesh.”
Besides the obvious physical boundaries that having a baby in bed with you creates, there are other spiritual and emotional issues that arise as well.
Ever since Justin and I got married, our bedroom has been a place for us to just be together, rest up and hang out, and when baby comes, I want it to remain that way. Mom and Dad need a place for just us two to be together, pray, be intimate, talk and relax. Just because a baby comes into the picture DOES NOT give married couples to right to disengage from each other. In fact, in this time more than ever, they need to grow stronger as a couple and connect daily. How can you do that if baby is attached to you day AND night? Truth is, you can’t, and some healthy separation from baby is needed for couples have time to invest in each other.
I’ll be off on MAT leave for one year with Baby Oliver and in my head, I see our nights going something like this (obviously this will be once baby is in a routine, but it’s what we are going to work towards):
1) Dad gets home from work
2) Dad, Mom and Baby chill out, eat dinner, est.
3) Baby falls asleep and is put in crib
4) Mom and Dad have time to hang out, reconnect, pray and just talk about the day
5) Mom and Dad go to bed together, alone – baby wakes up and Mom tends to baby in baby’s room so Dad can rest for work
I understand that this will take some commitment on my end (i.e. I’ll have to get up to feed the baby every night instead of just pulling him\her into bed with me), but I am OK with that. I want our bedroom to be a place for Justin and I to be alone and this means establishing boundaries with our children from the very beginning. Pastor Mark Driscoll and his wife Grace have this very same rule in their home and Mark talks very seriously about its importance. And when I look at a marriage like theirs, I’d be a fool not to heed his wisdom.
Now, I am not heartless. If my sweet Baby Oliver gets a bad dream in the middle of the night and needs to spend a few minutes lying with us, then that’s perfectly fine. But the actual act of sleeping side-by-side all night long is for Mom and Dad only. I believe this also sends a message to babies and kids. It says: “Mom and Dad are one. They are untied. They do life together, sleep together, eat together, laugh together, talk together, and they are one flesh.”
Now, if you choose to co-sleep, I won't judge that decision because as I've mentioned previously, I don't judge others on decisions that are not of eternal value (i.e. your salvation doesn't depend on whether or not you co-sleep!) But I would like to encourage parents to understand that, even once a baby is born into a family, your spouse remains your top priority, second only to God. This means that couples need to be committed to some time spent together without baby.
Recent Addition: *My mentor, an amazing woman of God, shared with me last night at our meeting that many Christian counsellors agree that married couples should spend 12-15 hours of uninterrupted time together PER week, talking and reconnecting - no TV, no kids, no distractions. To pull this off with a new baby, or kids of any age for that matter, Moms and Dads are going to have to commit to 1 hour per night of just grown up time, and perhaps several hours on the weekend when it can just be them. Personally, I find this to be SO important in sustaining the bond within a marriage. I know couples that wait months before they have any time apart from baby at all, and I must say, this does not line up with the priorities set before Christian women in scripture, which are: God FIRST, Husband SECOND, Children THIRD. I know it'll be hard to leave baby at Nana's for the first time while Justin and I go out on a date alone, but it's an investment in our marriage and in the end, it's really going to benefit our family as a whole.
Recent Addition: *My mentor, an amazing woman of God, shared with me last night at our meeting that many Christian counsellors agree that married couples should spend 12-15 hours of uninterrupted time together PER week, talking and reconnecting - no TV, no kids, no distractions. To pull this off with a new baby, or kids of any age for that matter, Moms and Dads are going to have to commit to 1 hour per night of just grown up time, and perhaps several hours on the weekend when it can just be them. Personally, I find this to be SO important in sustaining the bond within a marriage. I know couples that wait months before they have any time apart from baby at all, and I must say, this does not line up with the priorities set before Christian women in scripture, which are: God FIRST, Husband SECOND, Children THIRD. I know it'll be hard to leave baby at Nana's for the first time while Justin and I go out on a date alone, but it's an investment in our marriage and in the end, it's really going to benefit our family as a whole.
Grace and Peace,
Alannah
Friday, 10 January 2014
Things Above
Today I am thinking a lot about the Father heart of God. Pretty soon, I’ll have a child of my own and I will understand more of what this side of God’s heart looks like, what it feels like, what it grieves like and what makes it rejoice. That’s the amazing thing about human relationships – they allow us to understand God better.
One thing I am more than sure about is that the Father heart of God has a love for His people beyond measure. His patience with us is undeserved, His blessings to us are pure kindness and His plans for us will bring glory to His name. I am humbled to the core when I think about His great grace. The grace that sought me out and pulled me to Himself. I was dead in my sins, yet the Father sent His only son to die for me so that I might have life (Romans 5:8). What a staggering fact! What a humbling realization! Oh, how He loves me. How he loves us!
During this time in my life, I am trying my very best not to get caught up in the worldly things associated with pregnancy. I hear mothers talk about certain issues like breastfeeding, cloth diapering and homeschooling like they are life or death issues. Well I have news for you: they aren’t! In fact, the only life or death issue is whether or not your child grows up to serve the living God. And no amount of homeschooling or cloth diapering will help with that. What will help is if we, as mothers, model for our children what a godly life looks like. From their earliest days, they should remember us praying for them, serving in the church, loving our husbands and caring for the brethren. Of course there are day-to-day decisions that we as parents have to make for our children, and that’s totally good and okay, but we can’t let ourselves be consumed by these small issues. They are merely physical! Fleeting, like our lives here on this earth.
If we are looking to Mama Natural, Oprah, Dr. Sears or anyone else for wisdom on how to parent our children before looking to God, then we are making them the god in our life. This is something we as Christian parents need to avoid at all cost. Instead, we FIRST need to open our Bibles, get on our knees and pray to the living God for the wisdom we need to raise our children in the ways of the Lord. Anything short of that would be idolatry.
In closing, I want to leave you with Colossians 3:2: Set your mind on the things that are above, not on the things that are upon the earth. I encourage you to mediate on this verse today and realize the implications it might have in your own life. I know for me it means keeping my eyes on the cross and continuing to find my identity in Christ alone. I don’t want to be known as the fit mom, the crunchy mom or the working mom, because those things don’t define me.What defines me is my eternal nationality: Christ Follower. Therefore, I want others to see me as the God-fearing, Bible-believing, Christ-following mom who makes all her decision for her children first before the throne of my King.
Grace and Peace,
Alannah
One thing I am more than sure about is that the Father heart of God has a love for His people beyond measure. His patience with us is undeserved, His blessings to us are pure kindness and His plans for us will bring glory to His name. I am humbled to the core when I think about His great grace. The grace that sought me out and pulled me to Himself. I was dead in my sins, yet the Father sent His only son to die for me so that I might have life (Romans 5:8). What a staggering fact! What a humbling realization! Oh, how He loves me. How he loves us!
During this time in my life, I am trying my very best not to get caught up in the worldly things associated with pregnancy. I hear mothers talk about certain issues like breastfeeding, cloth diapering and homeschooling like they are life or death issues. Well I have news for you: they aren’t! In fact, the only life or death issue is whether or not your child grows up to serve the living God. And no amount of homeschooling or cloth diapering will help with that. What will help is if we, as mothers, model for our children what a godly life looks like. From their earliest days, they should remember us praying for them, serving in the church, loving our husbands and caring for the brethren. Of course there are day-to-day decisions that we as parents have to make for our children, and that’s totally good and okay, but we can’t let ourselves be consumed by these small issues. They are merely physical! Fleeting, like our lives here on this earth.
If we are looking to Mama Natural, Oprah, Dr. Sears or anyone else for wisdom on how to parent our children before looking to God, then we are making them the god in our life. This is something we as Christian parents need to avoid at all cost. Instead, we FIRST need to open our Bibles, get on our knees and pray to the living God for the wisdom we need to raise our children in the ways of the Lord. Anything short of that would be idolatry.
In closing, I want to leave you with Colossians 3:2: Set your mind on the things that are above, not on the things that are upon the earth. I encourage you to mediate on this verse today and realize the implications it might have in your own life. I know for me it means keeping my eyes on the cross and continuing to find my identity in Christ alone. I don’t want to be known as the fit mom, the crunchy mom or the working mom, because those things don’t define me.What defines me is my eternal nationality: Christ Follower. Therefore, I want others to see me as the God-fearing, Bible-believing, Christ-following mom who makes all her decision for her children first before the throne of my King.
Grace and Peace,
Alannah
Tuesday, 7 January 2014
My Pregnancy Workout Routine
Exercising during pregnancy has huge benefits (as I have advocated for previously) and as hard as it might be to fight through the morning sickness\feeling like a whale and head to the gym… it’s worth it in the end!
Because the point of this blog is to document things I have thought, felt and done throughout this pregnancy, I would like to share my current workout routine with you so I can remember it in the future. Since hitting week 10, my workouts have changed slightly. I am no longer going to the gym five times per week as I was pre-pregnancy, now I am going three times per week. My reason for this is because my body needs extra time to heal between each workout. I don’t want to strain my body any more than it needs to be strained. I am also incorporating more yoga into my workouts to prepare my body for when I get bigger and for labor\delivery. So on any given week, my three workouts usually look something like this:
Workout 1
Because the point of this blog is to document things I have thought, felt and done throughout this pregnancy, I would like to share my current workout routine with you so I can remember it in the future. Since hitting week 10, my workouts have changed slightly. I am no longer going to the gym five times per week as I was pre-pregnancy, now I am going three times per week. My reason for this is because my body needs extra time to heal between each workout. I don’t want to strain my body any more than it needs to be strained. I am also incorporating more yoga into my workouts to prepare my body for when I get bigger and for labor\delivery. So on any given week, my three workouts usually look something like this:
Workout 1
30 minutes of cardio – Usually I will do either cycling or running. I used to be REALLY into Hiit (high intensity interval training) workouts with lots of burpees, push ups, Russian twists, jumping jacks, est., but I have laid off of this for now because I wouldn’t personally consider that a pregnancy-safe workout. But that’s just me… if you want/can do it safely… go for it!
15-20 minutes of weights – I am still lifting as heavy as I was pre-pregnancy (woohoo!) Not sure if this will need to change in the future, but so far, so good! I am paying special attention to my back because I know pregnancy will increase the strain on it.
15 minutes of Abs\Stretching – This usually consists of planks, squats, roll ups, light twists, leg extensions, est. I don’t really do sit ups anymore because it puts pressure on my uterus and I just don’t like how it feels. Also, my midwife told me that doing ab workouts while pregnant is almost like working against yourself because in pregnancy you want your ab muscles to stretch not tighten, and ab exercises make you tighten up.
Workout 2
15-20 minutes of weights – I am still lifting as heavy as I was pre-pregnancy (woohoo!) Not sure if this will need to change in the future, but so far, so good! I am paying special attention to my back because I know pregnancy will increase the strain on it.
15 minutes of Abs\Stretching – This usually consists of planks, squats, roll ups, light twists, leg extensions, est. I don’t really do sit ups anymore because it puts pressure on my uterus and I just don’t like how it feels. Also, my midwife told me that doing ab workouts while pregnant is almost like working against yourself because in pregnancy you want your ab muscles to stretch not tighten, and ab exercises make you tighten up.
Workout 2
15 minutes of weights – With a special focus on the legs!
45 minutes to 1 hour of low impact workout – This could be yoga or swimming. It’s crazy how much I dislike these workouts though – mainly because they are so different from the high intensity workouts I usually do. Don’t get me wrong, I usually leave the yoga studio sweating up a storm (it really strengthens your whole body and my muscles hurt afterwards – I love it!), but it’s still not burpees and push ups (which are a few of my all time favourite things!) In short, it’s the slowing down that has been hard for me, but I know that it’s good for mommy and baby, so hopefully I will learn to love it. It will also help me get back to fit post-baby, so that’s a huge benefit!
Here are some reasons yoga is good for all the mama’s out there: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/09/prenatal-yoga_n_3038138.html
Workout 3
This one looks a lot like Workout 1, but I change the type of cardio I do. Results are improved by muscle confusion. Gotta keep my body guessing!
Side note: I also get an additional 50 minutes of cardio per week because I walk to work (10 min per day, 5 days per week). I literally have to hurdle jump over the snow drifts, and I have come to really enjoy it! It’s an easy way to get almost an full additional hour of cardio in my week!
Weigh In
If you’re curious, I have gained exactly 5 pounds so far in this pregnancy. I think I look like I've gained more, but that’s just my uterus sticking out and playing tricks! I hope that by keeping the rest of my body (arms, legs, back, butt, est.) in great shape I'll have an easier time getting back to my post-baby body.
45 minutes to 1 hour of low impact workout – This could be yoga or swimming. It’s crazy how much I dislike these workouts though – mainly because they are so different from the high intensity workouts I usually do. Don’t get me wrong, I usually leave the yoga studio sweating up a storm (it really strengthens your whole body and my muscles hurt afterwards – I love it!), but it’s still not burpees and push ups (which are a few of my all time favourite things!) In short, it’s the slowing down that has been hard for me, but I know that it’s good for mommy and baby, so hopefully I will learn to love it. It will also help me get back to fit post-baby, so that’s a huge benefit!
Here are some reasons yoga is good for all the mama’s out there: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/09/prenatal-yoga_n_3038138.html
Workout 3
This one looks a lot like Workout 1, but I change the type of cardio I do. Results are improved by muscle confusion. Gotta keep my body guessing!
Side note: I also get an additional 50 minutes of cardio per week because I walk to work (10 min per day, 5 days per week). I literally have to hurdle jump over the snow drifts, and I have come to really enjoy it! It’s an easy way to get almost an full additional hour of cardio in my week!
Weigh In
If you’re curious, I have gained exactly 5 pounds so far in this pregnancy. I think I look like I've gained more, but that’s just my uterus sticking out and playing tricks! I hope that by keeping the rest of my body (arms, legs, back, butt, est.) in great shape I'll have an easier time getting back to my post-baby body.
In total, I hope to gain an additional 20 more pounds over the course of this pregnancy. That would be ideal for my height and pre-baby weight. Here's hoping this plan plays out... I know it'll be hard work, so please keep me in your prayers. This isn't about vanity, it's about health!
Grace and peace,
Alannah
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